Female Wanted for probably the best flatshare in London

[penciLneck]

pwned.

[gypsy_cream]

lol m8

[thembuzz]

"dear flatslags,

please kill yourself. seriously

thanks,
your dad"

[Orang Utan]

Originally Posted by Loz

"Yeah man, I'm well up for joining your flatshare. I too work in the media industry, for hip and happening Channel 4. I even work on Big Brother, so I can tell you all the details of the housemates and we can all laugh at how pathetic they are. I can wear unfashionable clothes that don't go well together much better than anyone else I know. I enjoy drinking and partying (especially at corporate events with free booze!) but also sometimes like a quiet night in. I have my own friends, who would all love to meet you (some of them might even bring some shotguns - how crazy are they?!). Hook me up on the dark star if you're interested."

Haha you got me - that was a joke though - I don't lark about in that get up all the time

ps one of the reasons for pulling the Facebook group was cos I realised I was on very shaky ground.

[Loz]

once I saw that photo, I really couldn't resist

[bracket]

i think the look suits you Rob

[Orang Utan]

Originally Posted by bracket

i think the look suits you Rob

Me too, shame I don't live in the South Pacific

[Tec]

!

[V Knid esq]

Rob, anything like this is cool. Fact.

[Orang Utan]

I need to get myself a cravat
Have you heard Peter Wyngarde's Rape BTW? Astonishing

[Orang Utan]

The lyrics to Rape:

Rape
Rape - rape - rape, rape, rape!
Rape - rape, rape, rape!
It's utterly amazing how many different kinds of rape there are!

There's Italian Rape
Uno, due, tres, quatro, cinque, quante Lira.
Look into my eye-a-balls, you will see the fire!
How much Lira have you got-a ? Only a quarter?
Oh Madonna, you didn't oughta - for that I'll have your daughter !

Japanese Rape, of course!
American Rape is full of hate and we're told, practically every minute of the hour.
And the way we're going we'll never be late,
Except for that date, with impatient Black Power!
Beginnings of Chinese Rape - endless!

One does need time, as any Englishman will explain,
If only to apologise for the agonising convenience caused
To Mother Nature's forbidden walls!
In France of course, where fun is greedy,
The women are a little more seedy.
And rape is hardly ever necessary.
So even if the Franc is down, la plume de ma tante is always up and around!

In Germany it isn't always remembered,
What with Liszt, Wagner and Tannhauser,
The rape is synonymous with whips, bunkers and Mauser.
Which makes it all comparatively kinky -
With gas thrown in to get rid of the stinky!

In Russia it's far too cold for anything so bold!
And being notoriously political (if a trifle hypocritical)
Rape becomes piratical,
And Czechoslovakia far more suitable!
Which makes the whole thing rather nasty, tasteless and hasty.
But as Jason King would say, it depends so much on what you fancy!

Words and Music by Hubert Valverde and Peter Wyngarde - EMI Harmonies Ltd/BMG Music Publishing Ltd

Here's the lyrics to another song of his from the album When Sex Leers Its Inquisitive Head - this song is called The Hippy & The Skinhead:
The Hippie and the Skinhead
Oh, have you seen this ? Now where is it ? Oh yes, here it is.
Yes, this letter was printed in the Sunday Times, London, 28th September 1969. Shall I read it to you ? It was headed, "Skinheads In Skirts" -
"We are two girls who according to your article are skinheads.
We don't think you know much about us.
Round our way the boys wear big boots, like you say, called Bovver Boots.
We're called Bovvers, Mods, Peanuts and a variety of other names.
The boys have crops, like the boys in your picture, not crew cuts, and braces are worn with their Levis.
We do work hard, unlike the hippies - I say we because we girls are Mods, or Bovvers, or Peanuts as well as the boys.
If you want to see real, clean, decent ones, come to Bookham.
We don't like long hair, hippies, flowery clothes and anything which attracts attention.
As for us girls, we wear skirts that are long by today's standards.
Most of us have crops - hair that is short on top with long back and sideboards.
We wear maxi cardies, stretch lace blouses and we don't wear make-up anymore.
We're just out for a good time. "
Miss Jane Skinner and Chris Webb, aged 15, Great Bookham

Billy was a queer, pilly, sexy Hippy,
He wore gear - frilly, hairy, zippy.
Mohair in the winter, less hair in the summer.
His Mac was black, scarf immaculate -
Tied loosely (knots interfered with promiscuity!)
Beads that went all the way to eternity,
Specially on his trips around three-thirty
Did Billy the queer, pilly, sexy Hippy.

Then one night he went a-troll with Dilly,
To spend a penny and met a Skinhead - Kenny.
Kenny was one-too-many,
A Skinhead who hated plenty.
But Billy loved his puritanical gear,
His boots, his braces, his hair,
And something else which was quite rare.
Kenny was a dour, pimply, silly drear,
Whose only joy was knocking down a queer.

So the moment his Beatlesque brows rose in frenzy,
Billy gulped, zipped up, and looked less trendy.
The crew-cut Ken and all his men stomped out in Roundhead style,
Their boots as small as size being ten, they had to walk in Indian file.
Billy ran up the stairs to the street
And suddenly found he was surrounded by feet.
What was night became the day that lovely Ken didn't want to play,
Instead he looked like some bad trip, not at all like any hopeful kip.
Which made poor Billy realise that peanuts just don't vitalise!

Thud! Thud! Sock!
Thud, thud, thud again went the magnificent Ken.
Fling into face - grab hair quickly,
Snip, snip, snip! Till all was prickly - flat -
(Ken : "Short! Just like mine!)
What? Oh, Poor Billy, no more hat, size nine!

But stop! Halt! Go back! Rerun reel
What's that between Ken's clammy hand?
A load of hay? Familiar material?
(Ken: A wig!)
Detached from yellow band?
(Ken : No, no - I must be canned!)
Underneath this golden mass is a head as bare
(Ken: As bare as my ass)
And what's this now? Barer still,
Peeping out - and another thrill!
From torn blouse and buttons spill
(Ken: A pair! A pair o' Skin'eads! Cor! What a pair! She's a bird - she's a bird! A bird!)
So Ken became a less dour, silly, pimply drear,
'Cause Billy certainly was no pilly, sexy Hippie queer?

[Orang Utan]

I've just found an mp3 of it - wrong wrong wrong:

http://www.hotlinkfiles.com/files/43...z/Rape%201.mp3

[Loz]

Thanks, Orang.

You've just made my weekend.

[Orang Utan]

As soon as Knid posted that, I was reminded of seeing the album in a record shop years ago, but I wasn't sure if I'd actually imagined it or not, cos it's so shocking, so I got Googling - you should see the album cover - there's a pic of Wyngarde with his back to us and he appears to be pissing against the wall and the lyrics to Rape are written on the wall in graffitti
Here's a blog about him:
http://jaded-jukebox.blogspot.com/20...tive-head.html
"Things went tits-up for Wyngarde in 1975 when he was arrested and convicted for an act of "gross indecency" after being discovered in a toilet at Gloucester bus station with a truck driver who was up to his nuts in the guts of the nation's favourite hetro-lothario. His unforgiving fans were outraged and his career was left in tatters"

[V Knid esq]

One of John Balance out of Coil (RIP)'s favourite songs, magicktronicafactfans.

[nempsey]

??