Post your invention - Dog Biscuits Auto feeder (is mine)

[Roy Shaw]

I have just invented a new idea. For Dogs this is like a soap dispenser with a twist. Before you say 'Hold on a minute Roy, what would happen if the dog got too wise and used his paw multiple times on the release pad in a short amount of time there would be no biscuits left. Here is where the elegance of my idea comes out.

Imagine a 24 hour clock like them on a boiler. Well all you do is intergrate that into the design and you connect it to a Solenoid which is only active at choice momments. 'But Roy In theory the dog could dispense all the contents in one hit.' Not gonna happen. The device is hung on the wall far enough to make dispensing an effort. In short the dog will do it but only when he is well hungry.

I think there is a market for my idea. If anyone knows any companies etc get in touch via PM.

now u have to tell me your idea.

[Gingerbreadman]

Thank you for your invention. We (our company with 100 years tradition) will contact you very soon!

Yours, G.M.

[ckpqerjwrpwp]

Oy Shaw... real inventors draw pictures of their inventions.

[mdk]

actually i have an invention that also involves dogs.

What i think would be great is a language specifically designed for dog training. Because dogs respond to the differences in sounds that are made we should develop a dog dictionary whereby the words or sounds used for particular commands are designed so that :

sonicDistance(commandX, commandY) = conceptDistance(commandX,comma ndY)

that way dogs would be trained easier and less confused.

So a set of sounds would be mapped onto an n-dimensional hypercube and for each DSL (domain specific language such as 'house pet' or 'police dog') you select the N points which are maximally distanced from each other and generate a mapping of sounds to actions.

I think it would take a few iterations to establish a good sample space across the hypercube, taking into account human vocal abilities as well as common accessories within a particular domain (whistles, clapping etc..) but its time we thought more in dog-space rather than imposing the human will onto our canine friends with our own language.

[Spandex]

Also... then dogs could be international. You could talk to an Afghan hound one minute and a Labrador or German Shepherd the next. All the dogs would understand the same things and walk paw in paw. They could translate at the UN and just maybe there'd be one or two fewer misunderstandings and a lot less wars.

Here is the website for dogs and pubs.
http://www.doggiepubs.org.uk/

[Rogue Molecule]

I'm still waiting for someone to build my revolutionary "Cochlear Music Interface". It involves the use of cochlear implants with a mini-jack just behind the ear to pipe music directly into your brain, thus providing an unparalleled listening experience. Sadly it does involve invasive head surgery which would prevent the mass market appeal of selling it at the till in Tescos.

[decadnids]

Rogue Molecule, the government are planning on setting up doctors surgeries on Tesco's - and have even mentioned the possibility of some surgery / minor operations, so you never know, you could be onto a winner!

[Rogue Molecule]

Originally Posted by decadnids

Rogue Molecule, the government are planning on setting up doctors surgeries on Tesco's - and have even mentioned the possibility of some surgery / minor operations, so you never know, you could be onto a winner!

"collect fairy bottles for hip replacement discount vouchers: redeemable in-store"

[bracket]

I thought about inventing a pair of sunglasses that would let you see a purple gas/haze/glow around whoever just dropped their guts.

Completely useless....

[Paddy]

roy, my mate's cat has a time release cat food bowl, so essentially your idea's already been done, cos you can get them for dogs too. back to the old drawing board...

[don___quixote]

not my idea, but the day they invent a breathalyzer for the phone - barring certain pre selected numbers when drunk my hang overs will be a whole lot happier.

[Roy Shaw]

Ive got a new invention. For old people/ back problem sufferers. When you are old having a bath is still nice. But getting out isnt.
Thats why I had to invent my new invention.

one powerful hairdryer.
one lielow (inflatable)
one long pipe
and a control box.

Essentially the man or woman presses the button when they need to get out and the inflatable inflates and takes them to the surface. After the water drained out. The inflatable is made from something water resistant and tough and the hairdryer is powerful enough.

I believe this invention will make it easier for people with back problems or weak joints to have a bath.

Anyone who wants to take this further please Pm me.

thanks

[ckpqerjwrpwp]

Old women could use the hair dryer in the bath too, which would help alleviate the pensions crisis.

[M H]

Originally Posted by Roy Shaw

Ive got a new invention. For old people/ back problem sufferers. When you are old having a bath is still nice. But getting out isnt.
Thats why I had to invent my new invention.

one powerful hairdryer.
one lielow (inflatable)
one long pipe
and a control box.

Essentially the man or woman presses the button when they need to get out and the inflatable inflates and takes them to the surface. After the water drained out. The inflatable is made from something water resistant and tough and the hairdryer is powerful enough.

I believe this invention will make it easier for people with back problems or weak joints to have a bath.

Anyone who wants to take this further please Pm me.

thanks

Already been done, used to deliver these kind of things around derbyshire years ago, Bath lifts they're called, and there is indeed one that runs on air from a compressor....

[trippingadget]

No joy Roy, i invented the dog feeder when i were a lad of 14 for a technological studies project in school. Your only 11 years late.

[love_tempo]

While we are talking about dog related inventions...I always though that disposable doggie wellingtons would be a good idea. It would save me a lot of cleaning up on wet days. But I'd bet they already exist (plastic bags).

[ckpqerjwrpwp]

As well as dog-poo bins they should just have dog bins, I get bored of dogs pretty quick but there's never an easy way to just dispose of them.

[Spandex]

You could solve ALL these dog problems (feeding, muddy paws, irritation) with taxidermy. What we should be inventing is a quick/easy home taxidermy kit... some sort of "Stick this tube up your dogs arse and then use this footpump to fill it full of this strange chemical. Wait ten minutes (it'll stop twitching in about three) and it'll be set rock solid. WARNING: Place your dog in the required pose before it has set, cos you've fuck all chance of shifting it once this stuff hardens".

[ckpqerjwrpwp]

Taxidermy rawks.

[grobelaar]

Originally Posted by decadnids

Rogue Molecule, the government are planning on setting up doctors surgeries on Tesco's - and have even mentioned the possibility of some surgery / minor operations, so you never know, you could be onto a winner!

Oh christ you are going to be able to be born, live and die in Tescos...

That's it, I've become a believer, all these people saying that God can't exist cost he doesn't prevent all the suffering in the world, well why would he, cos we are clearly in hell...

dog bowl that has 7 'cheese' shaped bowls like on trival persuit but with a cover that only shows one bowl at a time. every 24 hours the coverclicks round one slot using a mechanised clock. now kick your dog out into the back garden with the colar connected to a run line and go on holiday for a week. Probably needs some pre-training that involves administrating a electric stun every time the cunt barks.

cats rule.

[thepigjockey]

Originally Posted by JonnySpeed

dog bowl that has 7 'cheese' shaped bowls like on trival persuit but with a cover that only shows one bowl at a time.

Yeah, and make him answer a question successfully every time he wants a meal.

[garew]

toothpaste tube squeezer that looks like a toothpaste tube, but is slightly larger than all tubes on the market. You would load your toothpaste like a cartridge and the tip would be pressed through the top. Close it. Then you push a button on the squeezer, a motor starts and two pinch rollers inside move up and flatten your toothpaste tube. Much like the gears and rollers work on a home pasta machine. When you are done with your toothpaste, eject it and the tube should be flat as a pancake.