prior art - random product

[r_v]

unashamedly knicked from the dogma forum:

too funny

[gypsy_cream]

heehee

clair is a teddybear that's designed by Terence Conran, has a built-in motion sensor and floats in water

[r_v]

RV is a Christmas tree that can only be operated by a trained professional!

[Ladytron]

Biljana is a skateboard that repairs itself!

Ladytron is a sheet of paper that's great for hammering in nails! It folds away when not in use and can heat a small house.

[TheWasp]

monox is like a normal samurai sword, but it can be used by the whole family.

[alex cortex]

techno is like a normal laser-printer, but it explodes when dropped.

[thembuzz]

buzz is a marker pen that cannot be removed from your house!

[alex cortex]

but this slang machine from the same website isnt wrong either all the time

[thembuzz]

buzz
adj. carrying a policeman.
"I need a buzz male, and I need it now, my friend.

???

[Ladytron]

bibi
adj. addicted to breasts.
"I'm feeling bibi tonight, Jackie."

Biljana
n. chart music without cocaine.
"I'm gonna smoke your Biljana, Frank." "No you're not, dawg."

Ladytron
adj. addicted to lipstick.
"Girl - she's Ladytron!"

:-)

[alex cortex]

cortex
v. (vulgar) to love someone.
"Jesse, don't cortex!"

[Ladytron]

hahah.. this is funny

[Ladytron]

mitrovska
n. complicated acronym, meaning lipstick.
"What's with the mitrovska, girl?"

it's all about lipstick :-)

[alex cortex]

Bad luck! You are suffering from
Cortex's Lurgy.

Cause: lack of sleep

Symptoms: bulging eyes, enhanced vision, headaches, excessive extra toes

Cure: eat more spam


disease registry

[gypsy_cream]

haha that ones even better alex


You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Clair's Syndrome.

Cause: a significant alignment of the stars

Symptoms: chapped lips, excess saliva, skin lesions

Cure: sleep

[Ladytron]

You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Biljana's Disease.

Cause: natural sign of ageing

Symptoms: stripey saliva, fear of the number thirteen, itching, depression

Cure: click heels together three times

[Ladytron]

Textbook example. You are suffering from
Bibi's Syndrome.

Cause: mosquito bite

Symptoms: mild dehydration, bulging eyes, occasional bad poetry

Cure: take seven shots of morphine and come back in the morning

[alex cortex]

and from their slogan maker:

Have You Forgotten How Good Alex Tastes?

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by alex cortex
Symptoms: bulging eyes, enhanced vision, headaches, excessive extra toes

excessive extra toes? what, like extra toes aren't excessive enough..?

[alex cortex]

jeez, i already feel like having too much time on my hands...

The Dirt says Hot, The Label says Cortex.

[thembuzz]

It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Buzz's Syndrome.

Cause: lack of burgers in diet

Symptoms: hair loss, thirst for human blood, hot flushes, metallic skin

Cure: wake up and realise it was all just a dream

[komakid]

Bad luck! You are suffering from
Komakidosis.

Cause: influence of the Devil

Symptoms: belching, muscle spasms, bad poetry, mild fangs

Cure: prayer

[Ladytron]

hahaha komakidosis :-)

[alex cortex]

You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
Techno's Disease.

Cause: self-abuse

Symptoms: sudden American accent, sores, mild necrosis

Cure: take a day off work

[komakid]

It's just as I feared. You are suffering from
Markoitis.

Cause: sporting injury

Symptoms: red eye, extreme anger, hovering, extremely crossed eyes

Cure: none

[alex cortex]

erutufon

erutufon is a key-ring that receives data from any nearby suitcase!

erutufon
n. music belonging to a friend.
"What good erutufon you have, bud."

Bad luck! You are suffering from
Erutufon's Lurgy.

Cause: bee sting

Symptoms: excessive chi imbalance, hearing voices, slightly impaired vision, puncture wounds

Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait

EMC Erutufon Media Center

Strong and Beautiful, Just Like Erutufon.

[r_v]

Good lord! You are suffering from
Harv's Disease.

Cause: early mornings

Symptoms: mildly enhanced vision, confusion, fear of drowning, extreme French accent

Cure: Kryptonite

[Ladytron]

hahaha "extreme French accent "

this reminded me of a joke i read it today:


3 men (a Belgian, a German and a French) have an
audition for a new job in England. The interviewer
tells them: "OK, you'll have to formulate a sentence with the 3 words - green, pink and yellow."
First, the Belgian says : "I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the Pink Panther on TV".
Then, the German : "I wake up in the morning, I see the yellow sun, the green grass and I think to myself: I hope it will be a pink day".
And the French : "I wake up in ze morning, I hear ze phone: green... green... green... pink up ze phone and I say "Yellow?"

[thembuzz]

Top Breeders Recommend Buzz.

[dSort]

Janek is a hi-fi that can go from 0 to 60mph in three seconds!

and

DSortosis.

Cause: falling over

Symptoms: incontinence, demoniacal visions, extremely inability to turn neck, excessive hives

Cure: trepanning

demoniacal visions.....hmmm....