Celebrity Haiku Challenge - erutufon|nofuture

**V Knid esq** · 5th February 2005

Mrs Knid wrote a celebrity haiku about her encounter with Judith Chalmers at a work function recently.

See Judith Chalmers,
canapes, heat, free drinking,
wrap party - she shakes.

This inspired our friend Jody to write:

Hence Mark Durden Smith
As orange and talentless
as his mum - but worse

Then I decided to write another haiku about another celebrity encounter:

Reg Hollis, desk sergeant
Raves in a baseball cap
Sweats, and huffs nitrous

**Orang Utan** · 5th February 2005

Jimmy Carr, can't fight,
has a potato face and,
is Channel 4's whore

V-knid - don't think your Reg one is quite a haiku

**V Knid esq** · 5th February 2005

Oh yeah

OK

Reg Hollis, desk sergeant
Raves hard in a baseball cap
Sweats, and huffs nitrous

**Orang Utan** · 5th February 2005

Your first line is six syllables

Judy Finnigan
Mouth like a cat's arse and your
hubby's a doss cunt

**V Knid esq** · 5th February 2005

Oh shit I am dopey today

The Bill's Reg Hollis
Raves hard in a baseball cap
Sweats, and huffs nitrous

There, that's got it.

Peter Doherty
Sucks on a crack pipe daily
But his band just sucks

**V Knid esq** · 5th February 2005

Plump Martha Kearney
Naughty twinkle in her eye
Newsnight is sexy

invisibleplanet · 5th February 2005

by doing coke ad
justin timberlake sold out
and became a fad

5th February 2005

is that like bukkake?

*wheezer* · 6th February 2005

T is versatile
He made a cabbage launcher
To take out suckas

**thembuzz** · 6th February 2005

robbie williams
turned to pop after career
as psychopath stalled

(i think 'career' is technically a 3-syllabubble word, but you shall read it as 2)

**thembuzz** · 6th February 2005

joan collins fashions
coats from the skins of starving
african children

[sik] · 6th February 2005

kim gordon
she aint so cool
but the needle glides
and makes me drool

**V Knid esq** · 6th February 2005

Ross Noble rambles
But clever tousled Geordie
Doesn't have a drink

**V Knid esq** · 6th February 2005

Nicholas Parsons
Sounds like vicar without pants
Thin lips strain to smile

**V Knid esq** · 6th February 2005

Latoya Jackson
Boss-eyed tits and crap nose
Like her sick brother

**thembuzz** · 6th February 2005

judy finnigan
drinks to forget her secret
past as prostitute

**thembuzz** · 6th February 2005

barry scott, often
seen sitting in ford escort
opposite school gates

**V Knid esq** · 6th February 2005

I like the way this is progressing. The initial two (Judith Chalmers and Reg Hollis) were actually based on real solid celebrity sightings... then I started flying off into random but true stuff about famous people I've seen on the telly... now Thembuzz, I suspect you are bordering into the hinterlands of truth...

**V Knid esq** · 6th February 2005

...although I'm not so sure about Judy F - she does have something of the brass about her.

JE:5 · 6th February 2005

Robert Kilroy Silk
Bigoted orange wanker
piss off veritas

**thembuzz** · 6th February 2005

we're back to the truth again by the looks of things

**thembuzz** · 6th February 2005

charlie simpson is
a juju slut, he dances
naked with chickens

**Orang Utan** · 6th February 2005

The Chuckle Brothers,
enjoy spitroasting a lass,
with 'to me, to you'

**Orang Utan** · 6th February 2005

I like this thread, Knid,
mind if I pinch it for some
other board. Eh? Eh?

**V Knid esq** · 6th February 2005

Also spitroasters
McPartlin and Donnelly
Like each other's bods

**V Knid esq** · 6th February 2005

Haiku threads migrate
To plenty other websites
No problem Orang

JE:5 · 6th February 2005

Michael Barrymore
man floating in swimming pool
strike it lucky, not.

**V Knid esq** · 6th February 2005

Kate Moss, pretty girl
Probably got diseases
Wouldn't be surprised

6th February 2005

Quote:

Originally posted by V Knid esq
Plump Martha Kearney
Naughty twinkle in her eye
Newsnight is sexy

I'm glad i'm not the only one.

JE:5 · 6th February 2005

Bobby Georges bling
the smell of a thousand fags
hundred and eighty

5th February 2005	#1
V Knid esq Erutufon Subscriber Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Lahndan Taaaahn Posts: 13,436	Celebrity Haiku Challenge Mrs Knid wrote a celebrity haiku about her encounter with Judith Chalmers at a work function recently. See Judith Chalmers, canapes, heat, free drinking, wrap party - she shakes. This inspired our friend Jody to write: Hence Mark Durden Smith As orange and talentless as his mum - but worse Then I decided to write another haiku about another celebrity encounter: Reg Hollis, desk sergeant Raves in a baseball cap Sweats, and huffs nitrous ...........................
	:: quote post ::

5th February 2005	#2
Orang Utan hard to please anal Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Brixton Posts: 8,538	Jimmy Carr, can't fight, has a potato face and, is Channel 4's whore V-knid - don't think your Reg one is quite a haiku ........................... I like small speakers. I like tall speakers Power from the needle to the plastic
	:: quote post ::

5th February 2005	#3
V Knid esq Erutufon Subscriber Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Lahndan Taaaahn Posts: 13,436	Oh yeah OK Reg Hollis, desk sergeant Raves hard in a baseball cap Sweats, and huffs nitrous ...........................
	:: quote post ::

5th February 2005	#4
Orang Utan hard to please anal Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Brixton Posts: 8,538	Your first line is six syllables Judy Finnigan Mouth like a cat's arse and your hubby's a doss cunt ........................... I like small speakers. I like tall speakers Power from the needle to the plastic
	:: quote post ::

5th February 2005	#5
V Knid esq Erutufon Subscriber Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Lahndan Taaaahn Posts: 13,436	Oh shit I am dopey today The Bill's Reg Hollis Raves hard in a baseball cap Sweats, and huffs nitrous There, that's got it. Peter Doherty Sucks on a crack pipe daily But his band just sucks ...........................
	:: quote post ::

5th February 2005	#7
invisibleplanet noteknotechne! Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Central England Posts: 4,602	by doing coke ad justin timberlake sold out and became a fad
	:: quote post ::

5th February 2005	#8
JonnySpeed Posts: n/a	is that like bukkake?
	:: quote post ::

6th February 2005	#9
wheezer Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Hackney Posts: 6,999	T is versatile He made a cabbage launcher To take out suckas ........................... Dawn appeared, fresh and rosy fingered
	:: quote post ::

6th February 2005	#10
thembuzz 60% andy Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: manchest Posts: 9,952	robbie williams turned to pop after career as psychopath stalled (i think 'career' is technically a 3-syllabubble word, but you shall read it as 2) Last edited by thembuzz : 6th February 2005 at 15:10.
	:: quote post ::

6th February 2005	#12
[sik] screw u bubble boy Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: pdx Posts: 622	kim gordon she aint so cool but the needle glides and makes me drool
	:: quote post ::

6th February 2005	#20
JE:5 On the edge of darkness Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Bristol Posts: 5,957	Robert Kilroy Silk Bigoted orange wanker piss off veritas
	:: quote post ::

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