New insults.

[V Knid esq]

Go weep your way back up your sister's cunt, you scab-fucking little roach-raper.

Shut your pisshole you yapping twit.

Fuck off dicksplash. (ok, this one's not very original but it's ok too)

[jukka]

you son of your mom !


you scab-fucking little roach-raper......haha, i like this one, gotta try to keep it in mind till i meet the next british twat lol

[pongoid]

Cummon, my dog could fart out better insults while licking his nuts for company.

You son of your uncle!!

" You shit-eating cheese stain on a syphilitic whore's taint. Before you go running that puckered, dingle-berry collector of an orifice you seem to be trying to express yourself with, you really should get your full stories straight before you go talking shit."

That was from a response I made yesterday after being accused of being a "ing white trash nazi". I had to set somebody straight, you know?

That said, I don't want to get into an insult contest over here, cuz people will walk away pissed off.

I would, however, like to see some more good ones.

Ape

[V Knid esq]

Ah see, that's good, but I've seen rants a plenty and insults that just pile on the filth and bombard you into submission. What I'm looking for is quick, twisted things.

Come back when your dick's as big as your mother's.

Take that dog's nipple out of your mouth and tuck your prolapse back in, piss-eyes.

[anarchosyn]

Originally posted by V Knid esq
Ah see, that's good, but I've seen rants a plenty and insults that just pile on the filth and bombard you into submission. What I'm looking for is quick, twisted things.

Come back when your dick's as big as your mother's.


Hey, does pongoid come down to where you work and slap the dick out of your mouth?

Keep those dollar bills for puddying shut the asshole of those choir boys ya think keep you so young (ok, this one only works if you're affiliated with the catholic ministry to some degree).

And hey, not everybody's mother had hormonal issues, that's not a shared experience. (yeah, a little soft, I suck.. back to being friendly :))

[cut out]

go eat a mcdonalds

[komakid]

your mother can't cook!

[V Knid esq]

Your mother can cook nicely - she served me your dad's balls finely sliced in a hollandaise sauce.

[komakid]

go eat your sister and get BSE, stupid cannibal!

[pongoid]

Go to war!!

[pongoid]

You toilet!

[V Knid esq]

Shit out your love, brain botherer.

[Mirsha]

Your mum is bad at knitting.

[pongoid]

My asshole speaks more intelligently than you.

[namshub]

stop pretending to be the prince of bonnie piss flaps when yr really the esquire of syphllitic dripping cock sores

[pongoid]

Suck my toes!!!

Why don't you take that tongue of yours and use my anus as a target for stabbing practice?

[pongoid]

Here, taste my children.

[pongoid]

Now go fuck yourself with a broken beer bottle, just like daddy taught you.

[mlexicon]

YOUR MEAN!
and NOT nice

BAD PERSON

[cut out]

Originally posted by pongoid
Here, taste my children.

sweet crap... that's an evil one!

[decadnids]

Originally posted by jukka
you son of your mom !


how can that be an insult? thats just a statement of fact.

[wheezer]

that's how german insults work lol

[jukka]

@decadnis,
i know, but tell it to someone while having an argument with him/her !you'll see a lot of people will misunderstand you and take it as an insult.

@wheezer, you know germans are softies and do not insult each other badly :)

[cut out]

we have 'donnie darko' to thank for one of my faves:

go suck a fuck!

[May Kasahara]

A friend of mine who lives in Hong Kong came up with what she hoped was the most insulting thing possible to say in Cantonese. It was something like "Go eat the rancid shit from your dead mother's cunt".

[komakid]

i like dicksplash, it's a good alternative.

give your self a wank while a horse rapes your sister, dicksplash!
hihihi ...

i think that was really enough. back to friendly ...:)

[Loz]

you taste like your mother

[Loz]

I also like combining swearwords with normal everyday objects, which proves surprisingly effective:


cockwagons

fuckbaskets

cuntbucket

arseferrets

tittaxis

[cut out]

nothing feels as satisfying as saying 'cock off' to someone.

[wheezer]

faggotron 2000

[Tim Exile]

You're bending over backwards to see your own point of view

[Loz]

"You're so far up your own arse you can see your tonsils through your anus."

[cut out]

a friend of mine just used this phrase about an old stinky hippie aquaintence in a messenger chat:

"he was lower than knob-rot"

that's some good cussing....

[V Knid esq]

Also on a messenger chat last night I described this 'geezer' I know who was one of the original Loaded writers thus:

"just a shout on legs - one big fucking empty windy shout"

[pille'ocheoni]

little punk bitch


thats my fav of all time.

"you cum guzzling whore" is a good one too i guess

lol

[pongoid]

"You're so far up your own faggot-fucked shit-smeared jizz-dribbling asshole that you can see your scalp through the space that most people have a brain in!!"

Yeah, I guess I'm pretty mean sometimes. Fuck it. Gotta entertain somehow.

Ape

[anarchosyn]

" You're a sweet man, do you kiss the little boys on your block with that mouth?"

-- accidentally said to a customer here at adobe moments ago (before I hung up, bastid.. :) ).

[komakid]

Originally posted by anarchosyn
" You're a sweet man, do you kiss the little boys on your block with that mouth?"

-- accidentally said to a customer here at adobe moments ago (before I hung up, bastid.. :) ).


lol

[anarchosyn]

"Support our Troops!"

(hey, it's an insult to my intelligence, at least).

[dSort]

Originally posted by anarchosyn
"Support our Troops!"

(hey, it's an insult to my intelligence, at least).
lol

[JE:5]

Go rake your rectal relish with a pitchfork.

[pongoid]

Go tickle your mom's appendix from the inside.

[Paddy]

away and spunk up yer daddies japs-eye.

[Paddy]

or you could piss up yer ma's cunt.

fuckin cuntpicker.

[eclairfi]

you smell like yer ma

[eclairfi]

you look like yer ma never loved you...

[eclairfi]

or... you have a face only a mother could love?

[goone]

STICK IT IN YOUR TEA-TOWEL HOLDER!!!

[aleks]

Originally posted by nik-nak
or you could piss up yer ma's cunt.




nik-nak is the winner i´d say...

[goone]

eat my skin-chimney

[bracket]

True insult only seems to flow out of my gob when ive had to many Stella's. So in the words of a fat abusive cartoon character...

DONKEY RAPING SHIT EATER!! :)

[eclairfi]

when i have too much whiskey i seem to blurt out:

"fuckin' hairdressers!!!" at random people...

[scott confusion]

Ya muppet!

[r_v]

piss up a rope, fuckstick.

[eclairfi]

tool
root
boot

[scott confusion]

Smell yer maw!

[scott confusion]

Rangers fan!

[emef]

knobber

[scott confusion]

Trance fan

[eclairfi]

you're such a shelf

[FiST]

fart knocker, biscuit fucker

[emef]

suck my cock its blackpool rock, doo dah doo dah

[scott confusion]

Nice arse- pitty its on your shoulders

[wheezer]

I prefer the "is that your face or did your butt grow teeth?" variant on that one scott.

[jukka]

suck your mothers cock !

[Lighter Thief]

Smell my nuts when you kiss yer ma.

[eclairfi]

lol

[May Kasahara]

Originally posted by wheezer
I prefer the "is that your face or did your butt grow teeth?" variant on that one scott.

Or the lady's tangential variant - if I had your face I'd teach my fanny to speak.

[pongoid]

You festering pustule on the asshole of life.

[Paddy]

you've got a face like a slapped arse.

or

you've got a face like a welders bench.

or

you've got a face like a clumsy bee keeper.

or

you've got a face like a melted welly.

or

you've got a face like a smashed crab.

[Paddy]

jobbyheid.

[pille'ocheoni]

die bitch die

[marcel]

"take your blabla to the blabla-ologist." i always liked that one, scrubs-quote that is. great source for insults..

[marcel]

then a girl goes on your nerves:
"Okay - think of what little patience I have as, oh I don't know, your virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night Junior Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends, well he dropped by and he brought a copy of "About Last Night" and a four-pack of Bartels & James and wohohoo, it was gone forever - just like my patience is now. "

"My god Barbie, how do you put your bra and panties on in the morning, all by yourself? It's remarkable!"

"Listen Supergirl, I am going to break you down into so many little pieces that my grandmother who can do a 1000 piece puzzle of clear blue sky in less than an hour will never be able to finish putting you back together again, even if she does go back in time to when her vision was perfect"

------
"replace the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk at the wheel. "

"Can I count on you to never drop by here ever again or should I just go ahead and move?"

"This is me, washing my hands of you"

"Should I talk slower or go get a nurse that speaks fluent moron?"

------

for hippies:
": I don't know if they taught you this in the land of fairies and puppy dog tails where you obviously, if not grew up, then at least spent most of your summers, but you're in the real world now! N'kay?"

--------

thats a good one:
" I gotta ask you a quick question, now, when you were a born, a spawn of the dark prince himself, did that rat bastard forget to give you a hug before sending you on your way?"


everything by scrubs

[Jamoid]

you are the rancid spawn of that putrid manjuice dribbling fuckgremlin you call your mother 8-()!!!

you have a face like a diseased hooker's rancid axewound.

[pongoid]

I've seen slugs that I've poured salt on display higher intelligence than you exhibit.

[pongoid]

And you smell worse than the shithouse door on a tuna boat after it's been a month at sea!!

[dajackal]

gaylord ! - (was the nameof teacher at school)

[pongoid]

I haven't heard that one since before junior high. Hilarious. That, and calling porky chicks "fat lard".

So what about more specific insults? Broad spectrum ones are ok, but when you can get a really good read on someone else it can be pretty funny. Any keepers?

Ape

[Hagbard]

I'm a big fan of:

"Shit off"

and

"Shitcunt"

People don't expect those.

[pongoid]

No, I suppose they wouldn't.

[love_tempo]

At my friends house at the w/e that ridiculous baldy headed moby git was on t.v. and my friend said something like....

'You should move in with him. Ye'd get on so well together being vegetarian and all'

I nearly hit the fucker :) What was the right reply to that ?

...I was speechless at the time but I think a delayed kneejerk response is in order.