Annefrankingmachine
7th July 2003, 12:14
My weekend started badly when on Friday night I was unfortunate enough to loose an arm in a bar brawl. It started as just a “run of the mill” fight in a crowded bar but after 5 or 6 minutes things got nasty. After taking a good punch square on the mouth, this big Scottish guy called Stuart decided to run home and fetch a chainsaw. He only lived down the road and he was back amidst the fight within minutes. I was busy combating the attentions of these two brutish looking Chinese guys and had already sucsessfully knocked this annoying common looking woman out with a swift flick of my bar stool. Anyway I was so focussed on avoiding the blows from the Chinese guys that I didn’t notice Stuart with his chainsaw approach from behind. The long and short of it was that the bastard completely severed my arm off at the shoulder. This then gave the two Chinese guys the advantage they’d been looking for as I was now down to one arm with which to fend them off with. Fortunately just as they were getting the upper hand and starting to make a few blows count, Stuart returned with his weapon & done them as well catching one of them a very nasty blow on the abdomen with the merciless revolving saw blade. After this the other Chinese guy fled and I gave chase, screaming abuse after him all the way down the street. When I returned to the bar things had eased off a bit, a fact which I was very glad about as I was beginning to feel a little light headed due to blood loss from my amputated arm. After a brief but frantic search I located my arm under a pile of smashed furniture.
I was really beginning to feel the strain now and it became clear to everyone that I needed to get to hospital fast. It was Stuart who leapt to my rescue, kindly carrying me to his motor cycle which was parked outside the bar and whisking me off to hospital on the back of it at lightning speed.
Unfortunately my arm could not be sewn back on as quite a lot of grit had worked it’s way into my arm socket during my tussle with the Chinese fellas and the doctor told me I would have to have a wooden arm implanted. Now I was supposed to go back to the hospital today to start the fitting procedure of my new beech wood arm but upon awakening today I was shocked to see that another arm had started to grow back. At the moment it is only very tiny with just the stubs of the fingers and thumb protruding from the mess that is my arm socket but I am hopeful that given time it will grow into a fully functioning arm. The new arm looks as if it will turn out even better than the one I lost as the fingers have a deep tanned colour and they look meaty and callused like pearl divers hands.
I knew that lizards were able to grow their tails back after loosing them but I did not know this could happen with arms.
I don’t understand it but I’m over the moon about it. Has anyone ever heard of this happening before?
I was really beginning to feel the strain now and it became clear to everyone that I needed to get to hospital fast. It was Stuart who leapt to my rescue, kindly carrying me to his motor cycle which was parked outside the bar and whisking me off to hospital on the back of it at lightning speed.
Unfortunately my arm could not be sewn back on as quite a lot of grit had worked it’s way into my arm socket during my tussle with the Chinese fellas and the doctor told me I would have to have a wooden arm implanted. Now I was supposed to go back to the hospital today to start the fitting procedure of my new beech wood arm but upon awakening today I was shocked to see that another arm had started to grow back. At the moment it is only very tiny with just the stubs of the fingers and thumb protruding from the mess that is my arm socket but I am hopeful that given time it will grow into a fully functioning arm. The new arm looks as if it will turn out even better than the one I lost as the fingers have a deep tanned colour and they look meaty and callused like pearl divers hands.
I knew that lizards were able to grow their tails back after loosing them but I did not know this could happen with arms.
I don’t understand it but I’m over the moon about it. Has anyone ever heard of this happening before?