Crap Movies...

[grobelaar]

I watched the funniest shit film I've seen in a long time - it was on UK telly last night and it's called No Escape - starring Ray Liotta...

Its just wikked, its some futuristic prison drama where prisoners are just dumped on some island and left to fend for themselves - Ray Liotta is the star and throughout the film he manages to look almost exactly like his character in Goodfellas, complete with scruffy blue shirt - undone and untucked in....

But the bad guy takes the biscuit, hamming it up like he's some fucking superstar - and he's a proper nobody - superb, looks like a cheap Dennis Hopper... Any way I recommend getting some quality herb, kicking back with a brewski or two and watchin' this movie cos it had me and my mates in stitches... It even has a proper 'we've ran out of money' ending too

http://us.imdb.com/Title?0110678

[tsr_tomas]

wow, sounds like a superb crap moive.. i´ll check it out for sure.

here´s a tip.

ninja mission, swedish ninja film. only ninja movie that i´ve seen that has it all... volvo cars, ninja jumpin around in the northenforests in snow, distorted-mono to make the voice more awesome, the russian-mob, newclearplants and of Re:kill of the same actors over and over.... it´s just brilliant.

[Tomoki]

A Crab movie, how funnylol

[tsr_tomas]

just came home from my brother after watching another superb crap movie... "Contamination". it´s a 70´s italian horror picture.

it´s about these green egg´s that has been picked up from march articpolecircle... well, if they get heated up they explode, so if any human get´s any of the shit on their skinn they´ll explode from the inside with in a few second.
very much gore and laugh. the lip sync is awesome. almost as good as Kung-pow´s lip-sync.

it´s a great movie...

[MUX]

one of the worst i saw recently is Scarlet Diva with that chick Asia Argento from XXX
i see a decent number of shit movies.. i kinda rent anything with an ugly cover by default

[old skool]

@Grob

I've seen that film too mate and its top. I think the full title used to be "No Escape From the Penal Colony" or summat.

Quality shite.

I've seen more than my fair share of crap films recently, I blame the missus, who has a talent for picking crap films.

I got about 20 mins into Honest, starring those All Saint birds and had to switch if off cos it was awful. Plus I've seen a love story one with Keanu called Sweet November, Speed 2 and Ring.

Yes Ring, the Japanese version.

Absolute bollocks.

[pille'ocheoni]

that scarlet diva sountrack was done by john hughes AKA "slicker". i havent seen it, but the album soundtrack is cool.

[mr franks]

Originally posted by old skool
@Grob



Yes Ring, the Japanese version.

Absolute bollocks.

i liked the ring. the same director has a new release, Dark Water, i think, it has good reveiws. the last crap film i saw was the matrix reloaded. load of wank, although i likes the fighting on the freeway bit.

[tania]

Mucho agreed natrix reloaded sucks donkey balls...

[wheezer]

hah I'm seeing that tonight, but since everyone and their mom has been saying it sucks I have the upper hand!

[MUX]

saw it last weekend and i liked it...
but the special effects could have been better..

and i think it's stupid that the matrix have the SUPERMAN flight...
movies mentioning movies is always a No-no in my book...

[MUX]

Originally posted by pille'ocheoni
that scarlet diva sountrack was done by john hughes AKA "slicker". i havent seen it, but the album soundtrack is cool.

yeah the soundtrack is some pretty good electro...
not sure but i think schooly D tries to seel her a ounce... :)

[phil]

i thought the matrix reloaded was good fun.

[grunder]

i concur i also though gaytricks reloaded was a good laugh apart from the pop music vid near the begining .....

[grobelaar]

Matrix Sucks!

[Loz]

Ray Liotta, also in GTA: Vice City.

No Escape is quality bollocks, indeed. But gets bonus points for having Lance Henriksen in it.

As for Matrix, I have several quarms:

1. Fight scenes went on a bit too long. I found myself getting bored after a couple of minutes. Especially as you already knew who was going to win.

2. The script. God the dialogue was pitifully awful.

3. Did we really need to see 10 minutes of dancing?


However, Hugo Weaving. He's the man. Or the men, perhaps. Best line of the film:

Matrix Hacker: Oh God...
Agent Smith: Smith will suffice.

If it wasn't for Agent Smith, I'd have asked for my money back. In fact, I'll buy it on DVD just so I can watch all the bits with Agent Smith in, and forget the rest.

[wheezer]

yeh now that I've seen it, full ack on all points loz. once they left zion things started getting a tad more interesting...

they went totally overboard with the damm bullet time effect as well, less would've been more imho. and what was up with the fx on the scene where trinity and the agents jump out of the building? considering that they showed it over and over again, it looked rather crummy/fractal design poserish - come to think of it, they could've done without that whole neo selfdoubt/nightmare bit, didn't really go anywhere anyhow.

[grobelaar]

Originally posted by wheezer

and what was up with the fx on the scene where trinity and the agents jump out of the building? considering that they showed it over and over again, it looked rather crummy/fractal design poserish - come to think of it, they could've done without that whole neo selfdoubt/nightmare bit, didn't really go anywhere anyhow.

heheh, I'm glad I'm not the only one - It reminded me of the scene at the end of Die Hard where Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) tumbles in slo-mo from the window of Nakitomi Towers... which they even repeated (rather humourously I thougt) a la the tried and trusted method of 'flashback' in Die Hard with a Vengeance...

[MUX]

i was a bit too CG at times..
i think the effects were actually a bit too similar too Blade 2.. in style matter...

[Mui]

the worst film I've seen is that one with the 2 guys from the show bottom.....guest house paradiso or something.....bloody awful, awful stuff, there was a 10 minute projectile vomiting scene...nuff said