interstellarhitman
28th April 2003, 17:58
Back in the Swinging Sixties, Michael Caine is holding a big showbiz
party
in his swanky new house. Everyone who's anyone is there top stars from
the
worlds of movies and music, fashion and art.
There's a feed of pints, the best wines that money can buy, oysters,
champagne, Lennon and McCartney are helping themselves at the bar, Jim
Morrison and his band are sitting on the couch singing "Light My Fire",
and
over in the corner, George Peppard's getting very pally with Sophia
Loren.
All's going really well, until Jim Morrison decides he's bored out of
his
skull, and wants to go home for an early night curled up with a good
book.
"Oi, Jim," objects Michael Caine, "the party's just got started.
How's about I get one of 'the ladies' to take you into the spare bedroom
for
a bit of the 'how's yer father?'"
"Fair play," nods Jim [well that's not his exact words, but you get the
gist], "As long as she does the rest of the band, too."
"Not a problem, Jim," smiles Michael, as he pulls a young dolly bird in
close and whispers some instructions in her ear.
Half an hour later, the young lass is just wiping her chin, when in
walks
Ringo Starr from the Beatles.
"Alright, luv?" he drones, "don't suppose you fancy extending that
service
to me, do you?"
The young woman thinks about this for a second, then says "What the
hell!"
and proceeds to unzip Ringo's fly and get to work on the BJ.
Ringo's having a grand time, until, mere moments before the end, the
door
open's and Michael Caine bursts in. He grabs the young girl by the back
of
the hair and Slaps her hard across the face!
"Wh-what the hell was that for?" she whimpers.
"I told you," Caine snarls
(wait for it)
"You're only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off..."
party
in his swanky new house. Everyone who's anyone is there top stars from
the
worlds of movies and music, fashion and art.
There's a feed of pints, the best wines that money can buy, oysters,
champagne, Lennon and McCartney are helping themselves at the bar, Jim
Morrison and his band are sitting on the couch singing "Light My Fire",
and
over in the corner, George Peppard's getting very pally with Sophia
Loren.
All's going really well, until Jim Morrison decides he's bored out of
his
skull, and wants to go home for an early night curled up with a good
book.
"Oi, Jim," objects Michael Caine, "the party's just got started.
How's about I get one of 'the ladies' to take you into the spare bedroom
for
a bit of the 'how's yer father?'"
"Fair play," nods Jim [well that's not his exact words, but you get the
gist], "As long as she does the rest of the band, too."
"Not a problem, Jim," smiles Michael, as he pulls a young dolly bird in
close and whispers some instructions in her ear.
Half an hour later, the young lass is just wiping her chin, when in
walks
Ringo Starr from the Beatles.
"Alright, luv?" he drones, "don't suppose you fancy extending that
service
to me, do you?"
The young woman thinks about this for a second, then says "What the
hell!"
and proceeds to unzip Ringo's fly and get to work on the BJ.
Ringo's having a grand time, until, mere moments before the end, the
door
open's and Michael Caine bursts in. He grabs the young girl by the back
of
the hair and Slaps her hard across the face!
"Wh-what the hell was that for?" she whimpers.
"I told you," Caine snarls
(wait for it)
"You're only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off..."