D_G's Bad Sibling Blood

[Daddys Girl]

I guess I just needed to vent in a direction that was neutral, but I've just had a bit of a nasty falling out with my sister.... it's been years since I've had any kind of argument with her, but basically, I came home from Uni today to find that something of mine was missing, and there was no way that it could have just 'dissapeared' from the house in the way that it has....

Called her up, and she managed to flip the situation on me, making me feel like she was the agreived party in this situation.....

(trust me - I KNOW for a fact that she has taken this item)

Other than the fact I really felt like breaking shit this evening through sheer anger, I just feel really sad now, like I've lost the ability to trust my sister - and that really hurts, as I really thought that we'd become closer.
Honestly - now it just feels like I've been betrayed in the worst possible way and taken for an absolute mug - I guess it's just because she's my blood, it feels so bad.

Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest - (I had a long and mean moan at my mum about it this evening, and she didn't deserve to get the brunt of me being so angry - but I apologised)

keep on loving your siblings
D_G ;o)

[grobelaar]

Do the voodoo thang - Get an effigy of her, stick it full of pins and stuff, pour burning candlewax all over - make it look really fucked up - chop the hair up, cover it bad make up, let the dogs play with it for a bit, kicking about some public toilets and then leave it neatly tucked into her bed - ready for when she gets home - after having one of the most awful nights out ever...

Dunno it might work - gotta be worth a try and even if it doesn't she's gotta know that you were mega-pissed at her taking the item - at the end of the day she must feel a bit guilty about it - ooh and put like hairs across your doors and drawers and cupboards and keep a mental note of where everything is - so if she tries to sneak it back after she's used it - then you can get really anal screaching at the top of your voice - saying you know she put it back because you always keep it x drawer, just under y, with z place just so at an angle so that the whatever doesn't get marked/scratched etc etc...

She won't take anything ever again :-) sometimes I think it would be so cool to be a girl (not that I'm a transexual or a transvestite) just that its only girls that can pull this shit... :-)

[aleks]

but if it is your sister it´s going to be all fine soon...at least it was like that with my sister.
anyway, head up even if your neck is dirty:)

[Daddys Girl]

BTW - Don't get me wrong - I do still love her, but how can I feel anything in the way of trust for her after this? It's not like we're both 10 and we're arguing over a Barbie Doll - I'm 20 & she's 28, and this is going to become ugly, as we're both old enough to understand what it's really like to really fall out with someone....

It's just horrid.

Anyway, laters
D_G

[invisibleplanet]

Well, it is all part and parcel of having a sister....i had two - and they were forever into my things, and then hiding them from me, so I wouldn't find out (!!) and then denying that they had taken them. A search of their wardrobe soon revealed their lies, and after several occurances, I was just livid with them. Both of them used to do this, but my youngest sister was quite bad for this, and I didn't realise at the time how much she idolised and looked up to me..

We are really close now as adults, and I can laugh about it now!!

[invisibleplanet]

lol - this used to happen when I was still at home! under the age of 18. My lil sis is 6 years younger than me....they r just wanting a piece of u (i think this is probably what it's all about)

as sisters, all three of us share a similar taste in clothing, though over the years, our musical tastes have diverged somewhat.

[Daddys Girl]

@I.P -

I see what you're saying, but thats the worst thing - she doesn't even live here anymore - she has a key to the house, which I think she's likely to give back. When my Mum realised out what had happened (ie: her hearing me going fucking ape-shit), she called my sister (after I had called her twice, on both occasion she outright lied to me and flipped the script on this whole situ), and I think my sister went mad at her too - and I heard the words "return" & "key" flying around more than frequently.....

It just makes it seem worse - it's that bad, and the trust is dissolving that rapidly that she has to give her key back to my mum?

Then again - think about it this way - if she's insistant that she isn't guilty, why on earth would she come out with returning her copy of the house key?.....

Guilt's a niggler... it's gets you in the end

D_G

[karitek]

it will work out. that's the good thing about family. what i would do, which is probably the complete opposite thing you want to do right now... do something really nice for your sis. it'll make her feel guilty, you feel like the bigger person and good. and it'll probably prevent this from snowballing to something bigger.

she'll gain your trust again. it'll just take time.

[MUX]

people make mistakes D_G
forgive but dont forget

[invisibleplanet]

right on MUX,
u can rib her when she's 40, and watch her squirm hehe

[Sheridan]

Originally posted by invisibleplanet
Well, it is all part and parcel of having a sister....i had two - and they were forever into my things, and then hiding them from me, so I wouldn't find out (!!) and then denying that they had taken them. A search of their wardrobe soon revealed their lies, and after several occurances, I was just livid with them. Both of them used to do this, but my youngest sister was quite bad for this, and I didn't realise at the time how much she idolised and looked up to me..

We are really close now as adults, and I can laugh about it now!!

you scared me there for a bit IP! all your usage of past tense had me thinking that something had happened to your sisters like they had died.

@D_G: it will work out. I have run ins with my sister every now and again but it will all smooth over in time.

[Daddys Girl]

I know that you're bound to think that I just cant let this go, but it's actually managed to get worse - we've (me & my Mum) discovered this morning that some more stuff has gone missing - and these items mean a hell of alot more than what she took from me - which in comparison now just looks rather trivial....

Then, about 10 minutes ago (after having been a complete moose to me on the phone last night), she sent me a txt, apologising for being so "agitated" on the phone, and she hopes that I find what I'm looking for......(she is yet to realise the discovery of this morning)...

it's all a ploy to look good if you ask me - especially as she also acted like a moose with our Mum on the phone, which led to the whole "return-the-key" thing....

I know that blood is thicker than water, but it's just getting silly now.

D_G

[invisibleplanet]

*comes out of radio silence*
[assume mantle of agony_planet]

she wants to possess parts of you and your mother, and misses you both, in ways she cannot verbalise

so - you both need to go easy on her, and let her know that you know why she's done this act. It was inevitable that you would both discover that your precious possessions had gone missing, and this covert and dishonest way of showing you how much she misses her home, and mother and sister was the only way she could let you know. actions speak louder than words, but sometimes u gotta read between the lines.
being twenty is not akin to being an adult. many of the actions of a twenty year old are sitll immature-you all need to sit down, without any angst, and let her know you know she's finding living apart from you difficult
[/assume mantle of agony_planet]
*radio silence resumed*

[Daddys Girl]

@ I.P -

That's a really nice twist on the situation - I'm not being sarcastic either in saying that - I never thought about it that way.

That perspective makes some kind of sense - especially in respect of one of the things my Mother discovered was missing - it's one of my late Grandmothers solid gold bangles. She had a set - one of them was left to my Mum, and the other was left to my Mum's sister (who lives in the States). Before they were my Grandmothers, they belonged to her mother (My Great-Grandmother)

This bangle is extremely OLD and was made for my Great-Grandmother back in Trinidad - I don't even care to mention how long ago that must have been - so just imagine how hurt my mother felt to discover the bangle has simply 'gone'.

My sister was pretty close to our Grandmother, and was with her in the hospital when she died of Cancer 4 years ago - she refuses to talk to anyone about it, and yeah, it must have killed her inside to have been there, but all the same - just taking the bracelet away from our Mum like that - it just seems far too un-called for, and it's just unfair on my Mum.

Anyway - the bangle isn't the item that went missing yesterday, but I'm hoping you can see why it's made my loss look so trivial...

BTW - @I.P I'm the 20 yr old, my sister is 28, and people often tell me that I'm more mature than her :)

Peace and love
D_G ;ox

[bitch one]

people are more important than stuff. forgive her.

[Lady E]

i agree - you should always look for why these things are happening. often family thefts are about adddiction arent they - of any kind - drugs, booze, gambling, shopping...
in this case it sounds like there is something else underlying what is being taken and thinking that way is a REALLY positive step. it may be that this will turn out to be a good thing for your family as after extreme crisis points in families, often people start talking honestly.

the main thing you can do is try to find out what is going on with your sister, if she is able to come clean and actually talk. if she maintains the lies, that will be the frustrating bit. but whilst no-one should be expected to be a saint, trying to understand is the only way to prevent pointless family rifts that can only result in an appearance on the trisha show in a few years time.

you are allowed to be angry to be angry about this, so let off some steam somehow - maybe on the dancefloor?

good luck DG.