Mayonaise ruins perfectly good sandwich

[edit]

I fucking cannot STAND it whence upon ordering a sandwich, that the twat building it for you automatically assumes you want a brobdingnagian slurry of fucking mayonnaise on it which I absolutely fucking hate with a terrible fiery passion - did I ask for mayonnaise? Did I? No, I fucking did not, you cunt. *waves fist in apoplectic rage*

...There, I've said it.

[Yer_Maw]

I've walked out obriens in a huff, leaving a half made tuna sandwhich un-bought when i found out they had no colslaw. I fucking showed them, the cunts.

[edit]

Yeah...!
this should've gone in the complaining thread really...

[gypsy_cream]

i stopped usin mayonaise a wqhile ago and its made me start to hate it.... never have it anymore

[Paddy]

mayonnaise is the fucking TITS.

[edit]

it most certainly is not the TITS, unless it's the TITS of an extremely ugly dead transexual.
slime - this is the catagory it will remain under for all eternity. tis the very spunk of mephistophales.

[terminal viscosity]

i like all the 'aises
mayo, dijon, holland....

are the any others i should know about????

[Patrick]

Malaise - it usually comes with Loz's posts.:)

[terminal viscosity]

you are on fire patrick

FIRE

[Orang Utan]

Mayonnaise is the ONLY thing you should have with chips. It's great in ham salad sandwiches too. Ketchup is for bacon sandwiches and burgers. Brown sauce is for sausage sandwiches. It is WRONG to deviate, even in the slightest, from any of the above. If you do, you are an uncultured barbarian, and deserve to die.

[invisibledan]

burgers, cultured?

[joe pinapples]

yeh kobe burgers

[Orang Utan]

They are cultured if you make them yourself with nothing but organic steak mince and then barbecue them round Hugh Furry-Whippingstall's cottage

[bracket]

I have acquired an unhealthy addiction for this stuff....been putting it on everything.

http://images.usatoday.com/money/_photos/2004/05/21/frenchs-mustard.jpg

[bracket]

Brown sauce is for sausage sandwiches.


No way.

Brown is for bacon and its gotta be HP.

[Orang Utan]

You die then!

[gypsy_cream]

fucking food seperatists!!!

[bracket]

heh heh - thats not strictly true as i would put HP on a sausage sandwich as well. HP compliments any meatyness..

The combo of HP and French's is the ultimate taste sensation...

[edit]

yeah.... or you could just let someone be sick in your mouth and have done with it.

fucking food seperatists!!!


fuckin grub(by) hippy!!! "let's all live in peace with the food" - nah, I'm with Orang on this one... kill, kill!

[joe pinapples]

i had too much French's growing up - now I only like this mustard:

http://www.asmp.org/images/members/2233/138-lg.jpg

and not just cos it has a daft name, its great

[gypsy_cream]

yeah.... or you could just let someone be sick in your mouth and have done with it.




fuckin grub(by) hippy!!! "let's all live in peace with the food" - nah, I'm with Orang on this one... kill, kill!



im no hippy....i just think certain food combos are fuckin tasty ...

i think eatin each bit of food on yer plate seperately is childish and close minded

[edit]

well yes, i concur; combos are the nuts. To hold your rice from meeting your curry on a place, or to keep the scrambled egg seperated from the toast for example, is sheer madness. I'm not fan of blatant food segragation. We're talking about the SLIME here though, and I for one am a mainonaiseketchupmustardcolesl awbrownwhiteredyellowgreenpink andbluesauce facist, and they can all fuck right off my plate, right now.

But yes, apologies for the hippy jibe, that was a bit harsh.

[wheezer]

Mayonnaise FUCKING ROCKS. I always buy a giant family size of lemon flavored mayonnaise while in Belgium

[gypsy_cream]

>>to edit

man i was agreein with you in the first place ya bam

[edit]

ah yes... so you were. very, very bored at work; losing my mind

[gypsy_cream]

:-p

[Orang Utan]

I've been miunderstood. Of course you mix rice and curry. And it's nice to dip your bacon or sausage in your yolk, what disgusts me is people who get a little bit of fish, a little bit of chip and a little bit of peas on their fork and eat them all together. Might as well stick them in the blender first. Same with roast dinners. Some things go together, some things should be eaten separately, that's all.

[komakid]

just one word: ajvar

http://www.ayhansmarketplace.com/images/products/medium/md_ajvar_spread_hot.jpg

[gypsy_cream]

I've been miunderstood. Of course you mix rice and curry. And it's nice to dip your bacon or sausage in your yolk, what disgusts me is people who get a little bit of fish, a little bit of chip and a little bit of peas on their fork and eat them all together. Might as well stick them in the blender first. Same with roast dinners. Some things go together, some things should be eaten separately, that's all.


i dont mush them together but i put multiple food types in my mouth at one time

[Orang Utan]

And YOU die!

[invisibledan]

good god man!
do you kiss while having sex, or keep that seperate too?!

[thembuzz]

mayonnaise + chips = the wrongness

[edit]

mayonnaise + chips = the wrongness

damn straight.

"would you like some lovely mayonnaise with your potato wedges sir?"
"no thank you, I'll just gargle this bucket of bonobo sperm"

oh for god's sake. still at work. somebody ENTERTAIN ME PLEASE

[edit]

good god man!
do you kiss while having sex, or keep that seperate too?!

lol splendid retort

[AVX23]

I like Mayo - but only nice stuff. I'm havign the opposite problem - I keep askin for mayo in the deli and they always puts butter on it !!! arghghghghgh

I like butter on toast - but that's about it.

[spoon]

mayo is brilliant. what the fuck is wrong with you people? fuck off.

[gypsy_cream]

i like mayo mixed in with tuna or chicken but just dolloped onto a sandwich or in salad is fuckin mingin

[Sheridan]

my mum used to make me tuna fish salad sandwiches when I was young. she would put mayo in it and a little bit of ketchup. It gave it a nice zing of flavor.

[mdk]

just one word: ajvar

http://www.ayhansmarketplace.com/images/products/medium/md_ajvar_spread_hot.jpg

mmmm....

ladytrons parents make loads of that every year...they also make something similar that i dont know the name of..its like ajvar but there is bigger bits of pepper and its a tiny bit sweeter..

theyre both great.

[isoprax]

my mum used to make me tuna fish salad sandwiches when I was young. she would put mayo in it and a little bit of ketchup. It gave it a nice zing of flavor.

replace ketchup with a little squirt of hot sauce. the goodness!

[isoprax]

mayo is brilliant. what the fuck is wrong with you people? fuck off.




Miracle Whip ++

sandwiches, french fries, hot dogs, hamburgers

x tuna salad 2-3 times per week. Unf!

[isoprax]

This fits right in with the UK stereotype regarding your sandwiches us Canadians hear about...


Make it dry! Make it bland!

[gypsy_cream]

theres other stuff to make it undry

[isoprax]

theres other stuff to make it undry

Check, and they all go on as well in the layers!

[Yer_Maw]

whats the stuff that you get on american burgers, kinda like on a big mac but much better? its so good! like mayonasey but not mayonase.

[JonnySpeed]

mayo is all good.

as is mushy peas, marmite and salad cream

[thepigjockey]

Dutch mayo is best.

[thembuzz]

whats the stuff that you get on american burgers, kinda like on a big mac but much better? its so good! like mayonasey but not mayonase.

are you referring to secret sauce?

[Orang Utan]

I'm currently rocking anchovy purée on toast - the heavens!

[Patrick]

good god man!
do you kiss while having sex, or keep that seperate too?!

C'mon, man, you know he doesn't - pros all have that no kissing rule.




See what I did there ? I implied Utan only gets to do a sex if he pays for it. How we laughed.

[Irrungenwirrungen]

Only like Mayo in potato salad.
So can understand with the need to put it on chips, but wouldn't dream of doing it myself.

[AVX23]

This fits right in with the UK stereotype regarding your sandwiches us Canadians hear about...


Make it dry! Make it bland!

hahahah - I'm working with a Canadian guy who says exactly that, he's like what's wrong wit hyou guys here, you have all these sandwich shops sellin the same boring shit. It's funny when I got for lunch with him cos he terrorises the poor deli workers summat rotten with his 'demands' and then laffs at me with my plain ole sandwich.

[Yer_Maw]

it is bland though. and off half the time. disgusting stuff that been lying out for pure ages. fos some reason we put up with that shit, or there is a sandwich cartel that keeps everything crap to lower costs.

[AVX23]

depends where you go tho innit - there's some wicked sandwich shops where I work and it's always tasty (and never saturated with it) - At home I only buy really nice french stuff @ the supermarket and again - I love that, but yeah - some off rancid foostin squirty bum juice from a dead tramp mixed with off eggs is not what I consider good mayo.

[joe pinapples]

edinburgh's sandwich shops seem to be loads better than the glasgow ones. good bread decent choices of filling.

[thepigjockey]

You lot have obviously never been to Finland if you think UK sarnies are shit. I've never actually bought one but I often go to the supermarket and laugh at them until I start crying.

[AVX23]

You lot have obviously never been to Finland if you think UK sarnies are shit. I've never actually bought one but I often go to the supermarket and laugh at them until I start crying.

haha - that's an addition for saddest thing you've done this week surely ?

I think supermarket/pre-made sandwitches are always foul - not too keen on making them up and taking them in a lunchbox neither - with sandwiches - it's gotta be fresh - or it's feckin pointless.

[bracket]

are you referring to secret sauce?

Not secret...

'special'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_sauce

Do you not remember the advert?

2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion on a sesame seed bun...

I'm sure some sort of regulatory body would fuck mac d's if they ever used that one again...2 all beef patties...yer, right.

[gypsy_cream]

the gravy in KFC is boiled down chicken bones and grease

[AVX23]

have u been conducting a scientific study on that gypo ? :) hehe

I actually thought most meat gravy was made like that - or is it supposed to be extract from the actual meat itself boiled down or summat ?

[Lighter Thief]

Proper gravy is made from stock which is boiled down bones etc.

All you grease/slime haters should save your hatred for the true enemy:

MARGARINE.

I was almost sick whilst typing the word.

BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

[gypsy_cream]

yeh but its KFC ....they scrape the greese and stuff that drips from the chicken put it in a big jug and freeze it until they need to use it.

[Orang Utan]

I made some lovely stock from a roast chicken this week - managed to get 3 meals out of it

[Yer_Maw]

how do you make good stock? Anytime i do it turns out like sewerage water with no tase. Or is it not meant to taske like stock cubes?

[Orang Utan]

how do you make good stock? Anytime i do it turns out like sewerage water with no tase. Or is it not meant to taske like stock cubes?
Break up the carcass into a few bits, add a couple of carrots, an onion, leek ends, peppercorns, bay leaves, whatever herbs you've got lying about (parsley, thyme, chives, whatever). I added a couple of torn up bacon rashers last time. Add about 1 and half litres of water (to cover in a big sauce pan), bubble away for 3-5 hours, topping up if necessary. Drain through a sieve rather than a colander, leave to cool. Bingo!

[Yer_Maw]

thanks. ive done all that and all i get is some off coloured liquid that doesnt taste of anything. do you have to keep letting it boil down with the lid off?

[Orang Utan]

Yeah, you definitely need to keep the lid off - you need a pretty big carcass to get a decent amount of stock - Nigella thinks you should freeze one until you've got two to deal with. I still had loads of meat on mine, which I couldn't be bothered to salavage, but it certainly made it taste better
If it doesn't taste of anything after that, reduce it until it does and use it as a sauce.
Also, if you're using a £3 battery hen, there's not much point in trying to get stock out of it

[Orang Utan]

oh, and it won't taste of stock cube stock!

[Yer_Maw]

cheeers

[Orang Utan]

Just found a version of the recipe I used (I did it from HFW's River Cottage Meat Book). Also included is a recipe for what to do with the stock - I made a risotto and a Boulangere/Dauphinois hybrid potato thingy with mine

Chicken stock

You can make a fine chicken stock from only one carcass, but you need a compact approach, as follows. Makes a litre to a litre and a half.

1 cooked chicken carcass

The neck and giblets from the chicken, but not the liver

1-2 onions, roughly chopped

1-2 large carrots, roughly chopped

3-4 celery sticks, roughly chopped

½ a large leek, roughly chopped

A few chunks of peeled celeriac or parsnip (optional)

2 bayleaves

A few black peppercorns

1 sprig thyme (optional)

A few parsley stalks (optional)

Use your fingers and a small, sharp knife to strip the chicken of any remaining good meat - set this aside for soup or sandwiches. Tear the carcass into fairly small pieces and cram them, along with any skin, bones, fat, jelly or burnt bits from the roasting tin, into a saucepan that will take them snugly. If you have the fresh giblets, add these, too (minus the liver, which can make the stock bitter - save it for sautéeing, see below). Add the vegetables and herbs, packing them in as snugly as you can so that you need no more than 1.5 litres of cold water just to cover everything.

Bring the pan to a tremulous simmer and let it cook, uncovered, for at least three hours and up to five. Top up the water once or twice, as necessary. Strain the stock through a fine sieve, leave it to cool, then chill. A layer of fat will solidify on the top, which you can scrape off, but I don't usually bother unless there's a lot of it.

Spring greens, barley and chicken broth

Customise according to what's seasonal. You can replace the barley with small pasta shapes to reduce drastically the cooking time, or try other vegetables such as diced carrots or potatoes, or thinly sliced spring onions thrown in right at the end. Serves four to six.

150g pearl barley

The chicken stock made from 1 chicken carcass (about 1 litre)

2 medium leeks, finely sliced

¼ Savoy cabbage, shredded

1 bunch spring greens, shredded

Any meat saved from the chicken carcass (optional)

Salt and ground black pepper

Put the barley in a large pan, cover with cold water, bring to the boil and simmer for about 30 minutes. Drain. Return to the pan, add the chicken stock and bring back to a simmer.

After about 20 minutes, test the barley - if it's done to your liking, add the leeks and let them simmer for four to five minutes, until just tender. (If the barley still seems a bit nutty, simmer it a little longer before adding the leeks.) Add the cabbage and greens and cook for two to three minutes, until tender. Add the chicken meat, if you want to, right at the end. Season to taste, and serve at once.

http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/foodanddrink/hughfearnleywhittingstall/story/0,,2045580,00.html

[Orang Utan]

Oh, and nick any bones anyone's finished with from the roast off of their plates - it's a waste to throw them out!

[joe pinapples]

nice tips orang. I've got some chicken stock in the freezer needing using as well.

[gypsy_cream]

youre mixin an awful lot of food together there rob :-p

[Orang Utan]

youre mixin an awful lot of food together there rob :-p
lol You know what I mean! I just like eating my sprouts and my carrots on their own (with gravy) - nowt wrong with that is there?

[gypsy_cream]

hehe just kiddin

[JE:5]

Proper gravy is made from stock which is boiled down bones etc.

All you grease/slime haters should save your hatred for the true enemy:

MARGARINE.

I was almost sick whilst typing the word.

BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

Haha, I eat margarine out of the tub :D

[gypsy_cream]

WTF?????????

margarin is the worst thingg
real butters where its at.... even the easy spreading butter isnt as good

[bracket]

I like me carrots cooked in orange juice...

[edit]

proper butter, is the actual BREASTS. does the phrase 'hot mayoed crumpets' or perhaps 'hot margerined crumpets' ring a bell? No, it doesn't, coz mayo and marg are for wiggers. I love butter. Smear it all over my peeling skin baby, that feels real goooood.....

[edit]

I like me carrots cooked in orange juice...

Carrot juice & orange juice whacked together is loverly. In moments of 'lacking my 5-a-day weakness', it actually makes you feel bangingly healthy.

[Patrick]

I like me carrots cooked in orange juice...

I like me carrots cooked in cider...

[JE:5]

WTF?????????

margarin is the worst thingg
real butters where its at.... even the easy spreading butter isnt as good

I eat chunks of that too. I have a weird thing for cheap and nasty tasting stuff.

[thepigjockey]

haha - that's an addition for saddest thing you've done this week surely ?

I think supermarket/pre-made sandwitches are always foul - not too keen on making them up and taking them in a lunchbox neither - with sandwiches - it's gotta be fresh - or it's feckin pointless.

SHIT. I knew I'd forgotten to do something this week, oh well.

You're right about stupormarket sandwiches, but I do have a weakness for M+S and Boots prepacked.

[bracket]

I like me carrots cooked in cider...

Mmmm mmm - gonna have to try that one out ;)

[Patrick]

Mmmm mmm - gonna have to try that one out ;)


Seriously, it's really good. Just boil them in cider instead of water and let the cider reduce down to a glaze, then add a good chunk of butter. Wicked.
Google for cider glazed carrots or summat, there's a few different versions of it knocking around.

[joe pinapples]

didnt think u were serious, that does sound good.

[thepigjockey]

Would it be possible to glaze anything in cider? Hmmmmm...