Campaign For Real Fucking Swearing on the Telly!

[grobelaar]

I’ve noticed recently that even when programmes are on after 11pm at night some tossing cunt nob at telly companies still feels fit to bleep out the fucking swearing and censor moves.

Last night was the final straw, I was tired having just baked a shedload of cakes (don’t ask) and was pleased to learn that one of my favourite ever action/sci-fi films was on ITV – Predator – fucking yes, get in.

My happiness was short-lived, when I saw the really old hand animated 20th Century Fox logo I should have guessed, I remember at school we’d all laugh at the shitty versions of action movies that, particularly ITV would put on. Anyone remember Robocop, the bit where they guy is repeatedly shouting ‘forget you, forget you’ instead of ‘fuck you, fuck you’, or Bruce Willis’s Yippy-kyaye Kemo Sabe. Yes, last night’s Predator was from ITV’s special dusty box of fucking butchered to bits movies – I guess it’s that long since ITV bothered to show any movies it’s hardly surprising – but last night Predator was fucking beyond mega shit…

The bit where Duke says to Dillon “you’re ghosting us motherfucker, make another mistake and I’m gonna cut ya and leave you here to bleed’ – gone, this is the first moment I realised I was watching ITVs special ‘safe for viewing’ version.

The bit where Arnie throws the knife and says ‘stick around’ – gone.

The bit where the Predator takes his helmet off and Arnie says “You’re one ugly motherfucker” – that’s practically the climax of the whole fucking film - gone.

I blame the internet, I mean what is the point of trying to make a film like Predator more safe to view, by cutting a few ‘motherfuckers’ and incidents of people getting killed by knives, or where the shooter and the target are in the same frame. It’s some fucking moral minority, clogging up the telly companies in-boxes with their sick, whinging, shite e-mails – it’s time to hit back with a campaign for real fucking swearing, tell these cunts that we like swearing and care about it and what it on the fucking tv.

Here’s a quick e-mail template.

Dear [TV company]

Pretty please, put the motherfucking swearing back in my fucking movies and tv programmes you cunts!

Thank you very much

[thembuzz]

what do you expect, watching films on itv? you said it yourself, itv are known for their comedy censorship. nothing's changed

incidentally, if you wanted swearing, you obviously missed a treat last night in the form of c4's cutting edge: mind your f-ing language. it was about kids swearing, and it was great. and surprising, because it turned out most kids think 'bastard' is more offensive than 'cunt'

but pseudo-intellectual stimulation aside, it was just good to hear a non-stop barrage of fucks, cunts, shits and dirty-slag-bitches for an hour

[notorious J.I.M]

c4's cutting edge: mind your f-ing language. it was about kids swearing, and it was great. and surprising, because it turned out most kids think 'bastard' is more offensive than 'cunt'

but pseudo-intellectual stimulation aside, it was just good to hear a non-stop barrage of fucks, cunts, shits and dirty-slag-bitches for an hour

Yeah that was really good actually, good to see a completely uncensored barrage of meaningless swears just after the watershed. It just confirms that the watershed is pointless as the majority of the kids these days are more potty mouthed than Arnie has ever been. There was a good quote from Simon Pegg in the grauniad guide at the weekend about the dubbing for TV movies: "When you do the ADR [automated dialogue replacement] for a movie you have to fix the swearwords for TV. We did a derisory one for Hot Fuzz, 'silt' instead of shit, 'funk' instead of fuck, 'peas and rice' instead of Jesus Christ. We just said the stupidest things we could think of. Films are so compromised sometimes, just to please some fucking note-writing Christian. Film should be watched at the cinema." link (http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/features/story/0,,2077536,00.html)

[Loz]

on the shaun of the dead DVD, there is a really sweary scene with Peter Serofenowizch (or however you spell it) where we goes on about how the "funking music" is "too funking loud" and he's trying to get some "funking sleep" because it's "funking 4 o'clock in the funking morning"

[thembuzz]

that was ace, that

"prink"

[gen-eral]

I love the fact that the word "fuck" can be used in so many different grammatical ways.............

the fucking fuckers fucked

[pille'ocheoni]

one simple word, agreed, predator is a classic, and the stated scenes with (insert adverb sounding like a god damn moron here) makes me wanna barf. shame i dont have the tv, but i woudl love to see it once in a while, i hear theres a new site doing buffered tv of every station on the web. dont memeber what the name was, but i do have to insert my own plug for a product i love, netflix, not sure its of it presence in the EU, but it has a new option called watch it now, and its a new API that streams fucking great as fuck for movies, so check it! i sit back connect to some adhoc wireless, watch it now (some movie) and voila! streaming movie, drink a couple tall boys, pass out, and mission acomplished.