Unrestrained bouts of paranoia [Archive]

phil

4th March 2003, 15:59

last year after i did a lot of acid i used to get ultra paranoid. i felt i was in constant cosmic union with everything and i was the walking universe. sounds mad. it was, thats y i dont smoke weed anymore, cause weed acts like some sort of trigger which make me start loosing my mind again.

mr.shot

4th March 2003, 16:00

yesterday found an amulation of modular as a free plug in...go paranoid now ...höhö

invisibleplanet

4th March 2003, 16:01

nope i don't suffer from it, i embrace it
what some people call paranoia, i call 'unspeakable self consciousness'
when 'paranoia' ' happens to me,, i examine that state with a fine truth comb, to weed out self-doubt and insecurity

just try not to be scared of 'it'

decadnids

4th March 2003, 16:04

ride the fear...

wheezer

4th March 2003, 17:01

Originally posted by decadnids
ride the fear...

exactly... paranoia can be quite entertaining

invisibleplanet

4th March 2003, 17:03

fuck - i sound like some insane self-help cassette :illin:

decadnids

4th March 2003, 17:06

next you will be asking us all the breath deeply, and relax... ;P

bitch one

4th March 2003, 17:19

you're not paranoid mark - they're after you

thetonewrecker

4th March 2003, 17:35

They're not after you if they're already in you. Check those teeth fillings for the radio transmitters.

Mirsha

4th March 2003, 17:39

Yup I well know the feeling, very fed up of getting paranoid with my mates because I'm baked and can't hear what they are saying properly so my brain fills in the gaps with gash shite which upsets me and freaks me out.

Currently I'm avoiding smoking grass (and hence sadly my friends) until I feel a bit more stable and able to deal with hanging with them and not smoking for a bit which means roll on pills and booze on Friday.

I'll remember this post when your up in Edinburgh in 4 weeks and pull the same shit my friend did. While tripping my bollocks off for the first time on acid and getting ultra-paranoid my friend said to me, "Ross, stop being so paranoid.". My response was the classic, "WHO SAID I WAS BEING PARANOID?".

Actually better not hex myself, got a trippy wee fella saved up for that night!

Mirsha

4th March 2003, 17:41

Originally posted by thetonewrecker
They're not after you if they're already in you. Check those teeth fillings for the radio transmitters.
http://www.bsnn.net/cgi-bin/tinfoil.jpg

piscaries

4th March 2003, 17:42

i don't suffer from paranoia, but often when i smoke i get the feeling that i can see through the bullshit of what's going on and see the actuality of things. it's kind of odd. like i see the master plan in things. they are often sad realizations though.

thetonewrecker

4th March 2003, 17:43

http://www.qsl.net/kc2ufo/6.jpg

thetonewrecker

4th March 2003, 17:46

Originally posted by piscaries
..i can see through the bullshit of what's going on and see the actuality of things. it's kind of odd. like i see the master plan in things
http://thurstonstudio.com/pixnav/man_animation.gif

piscaries

4th March 2003, 17:48

where'd you get my picture? i don't remember even scanning that one onto my computer...

Magnumforce

4th March 2003, 17:49

@ Phil.. I was under the impression that loggin onto this or any other board, caused the effects you mention to happen to you..
Perhpas.. smoking some weed would mean that you were not so full of er "energy"

thetonewrecker

4th March 2003, 17:54

Originally posted by piscaries
where'd you get my picture? i don't remember even scanning that one onto my computer...

no no, here's your picture. :-)
http://www.watershedonline.ca/community/personal/Joel/IMAGES/Art-Gallery/AG-Crazy-Man.jpg

piscaries

4th March 2003, 18:00

i told you to keep that one very HUSH HUSH! you're such a bastard.

thetonewrecker

4th March 2003, 18:17

http://www.vant-online.co.uk/images/jedi_duel.gif

Weishaupt

4th March 2003, 18:21

the winner against me??

grobelaar

4th March 2003, 18:27

Hey M H, remember what databombers said -

"paranoia - its a bit self-indulgent really... "

think about it, its a bit self-centred to think that all these people are talking about you... honestly they've probably got better things to do... :)

Ride it out - sticking your head in the modular is probably a good thing, just don't mull shit over and over and make decisions based on data that is probably being skewed all over the place...

Mirsha

4th March 2003, 18:31

When your in that state you really can't just stick it out and move on, if you could it wouldn't be paranoia really. I've stuck it out several times and every attempt I make to ignore it and move on fails as I'm just not the sort of well balanced person equiped with the tools to do so.

jukka

4th March 2003, 18:37

Originally posted by bitch one
you're not paranoid mark - they're after you

just becouse you are paranoid it doesn't mean that they are not after you.

jukka

4th March 2003, 18:41

mark,
do you really have this feeling ???

maybe people are just talking good things about you___as me mate ;)

Lady E

4th March 2003, 18:51

mirsha - it sounds to me that you could use giving all drugs a bit of a rest...im no expert here but i know from experience that they can act as triggers for mental ill health. i had to stop for about a year 1994 - 95 which luckily was my finals year. it was the right thing to do for a while. i still dont do weed, more than once every few months and even then just a puff.

in fact during january my boyfriend and i gave up all drugs except chocolate and it was amazing, i had energy, i was positive, the world was easy to cope with. ive got a tough year this year with lots of projects we are trying to get out on the labels etc and im seriously thinking about going teetotal for a while...

invisibleplanet

4th March 2003, 18:52

"breathe deeply, and relax"

what is madness? the merging of the conscious and subconscious worlds? a blurring of reality and imagination? a tangled knot in your shoelace u wish u could ask someone else to undo?

could madness be defined as any behaviour which deviates from a socially defined norm?

Mirsha

4th March 2003, 19:08

It's just certain drugs that cause emergent paranoia in me, I had an extremely bad time on speed once where I became convinced everyone was really out to get me, I was reading forums on the internet and every sort of story I read contained personal details specific to me and I was convinced someone was out to get me. Weed is the one currently doing it for me which is a fucker as all my friends are stoners (bar the one I don't really get on with) so I've not seen them in a week and a half as I don't trust myself to be able to pass up the tokes.

Pills I'm fine on, in fact they are what got my life back on track as before I started taking them and it's why I have a very positive opinion about chemicals. I was in a very shit position where I was extremely isolated from the world about me and felt lonely and depressed all the time. Taking pills helped me to overcome the social barriers and get out there and make friends. Hallucinogens I'm okay on when I'm just on my own but as soon as I'm surrounded by other people I tend to start to freak out a bit.

I'm hoping that my current problems stem just from my current position, I'm doing shit minimum wage stuff and struggling to make ends meet which is putting me under stress and it doesn't help I'm incredably pessamistic either so I can't see things ever getting better. The weed paranoia is something that has only been happening since I got into an argument with my dad in which things were said that mean I'm unlikely to ever speak to him again.

Lady E

4th March 2003, 19:18

oh god mirsha im sorry to hear that.
i dont know the circumstances of your argument with your dad, i do hope it wasnt that serious...
fair enough, you know your own mind. context has a lot to do with it for sure

and IP -i know about "what is madness" and the anti-psychiatry movement etc but i know whats happened to me and i know that whatever i had to learn from feeling lifeless- worthless-libidoless-paranoid-down-unable to listen to music-detached-isolated for two long periods of time, ive now learned and to go back any more to revisit it willingly through drug use would be pretty stupid, and self destructive of me.

invisibleplanet

4th March 2003, 19:27

emma, beautifully phrased....
originally by emmaIP -i know about "what is madness" and the anti-psychiatry movement etc but i know whats happened to me and i know that whatever i had to learn from feeling lifeless-worthless-libidoless-paranoid-down-unable to listen to music-detached-isolated for two long periods of time, ive now learned and to go back any more to revisit it willingly through drug use would be pretty stupid, and self destructive of me.

yes...because one can never predict how a person will react to these self-prescribed drugs, each person has a unique experience to them.
sure, i've read some R.D.Laing - I especially enjoyed KNOTS (still in print) which illustrates the confines of a mind turning in on itself. Reading this book helped me to break out of a mind-loop which i found restrictive, and it has a continuous theme throughout based on 'what i think s/he thinks', which is, in itself, a form of paranoia.

M H

4th March 2003, 19:43

Originally posted by jukka
mark,
do you really have this feeling ???

maybe people are just talking good things about you___as me mate ;)

Haha, no, not at all, I've felt like it in the past, just thought it could be interesting......

By the way Jukka, the toilet in Globus was redecorated quite nicely after your forced Jager drinking on Saturday! haha....

karitek

4th March 2003, 22:03

emma - i agree. i haven't touched any 'beatles and bugs' since i left england (4 months) and it is amazing what a difference i feel in myself. havent had a cold all winter (knock on wood), much less moody and take half the time to get stuff done. don't get me wrong - i am looking forward to some upcoming nights of debauchary, but breaks are good....even just to prove that you can.

phil

4th March 2003, 22:13

Anyone who says "madness" does not exist, does not know what the fck they are talking about.

and IP -i know about "what is madness" and the anti-psychiatry movement etc but i know whats happened to me and i know that whatever i had to learn from feeling lifeless- worthless-libidoless-paranoid-down-unable to listen to music-detached-isolated for two long periods of time, ive now learned and to go back any more to revisit it willingly through drug use would be pretty

jukka

4th March 2003, 22:14

Originally posted by M H

Haha, no, not at all, I've felt like it in the past, just thought it could be interesting......

By the way Jukka, the toilet in Globus was redecorated quite nicely after your forced Jager drinking on Saturday! haha....

good to hear mark.....

it wasn't my fault, was it ?
LOL

thetonewrecker

4th March 2003, 22:19

this type of "drug" keeps me out of trouble as equally as getting me into trouble.. a twenty year addiction that's good for the body and mind.

http://www.skateboard-website.com/animgifs/nollie180.gif

aleks

4th March 2003, 22:24

is this you paul?

thetonewrecker

4th March 2003, 22:26

no...I would've added a heelflip. ;-)

first five or six attempts would leave some skin on the pavement and then victory.

aleks

4th March 2003, 22:27

is there some vids with you to check out?

thetonewrecker

4th March 2003, 22:40

you know what's funny...20 years skateboarding and I don't recall shooting video or pics at all... just hit a spot and move on usually late at night 2-5 am...no one brings cameras. Just push to skate hard and land tricks after crashing. It's fun to bust out some old school street plants, bonelesses, etc on the younger kids to make them laugh if we stop by the local skatepark though.

Magnumforce

5th March 2003, 00:29

Mark tell me you didnt puke in the globus as well... I managed the dancefloor downstairs last year..
You are taking the mission data from "operation palangas"to an all new level...:)

LEFTHANDLOU

5th March 2003, 01:07

For some reason Dayquill freaks me out. I always feel out of my skin, and kinda paranoid. anyone else get this way on this stuff?

7875

5th March 2003, 03:29

what is teetotal?
paranoia sometimes grips me if i get too stoneyfied. but, sometimes that can be a kick in itself. feeling how completely fragile everything is can make one overly aware of one's own petty existance in the grand scope of the universe. for some (probably many) that is not a good place to be. alot of people probably don't want to think about the fact that at any moment, they could be wiped out.
sometimes i just enjoy getting myself in the mindset that i'm going to take a step out into America in the 21st century and be dumbfounded by the spectacle of it all.

aleks

5th March 2003, 08:22

Originally posted by Magnumforce
Mark tell me you didnt puke in the globus as well... I managed the dancefloor downstairs last year

not exactly the stairs :D :-p

aleks

5th March 2003, 08:23

Originally posted by thetonewrecker
you know what's funny...20 years skateboarding and I don't recall shooting video or pics at all... just hit a spot and move on usually late at night 2-5 am...no one brings cameras. Just push to skate hard and land tricks after crashing. It's fun to bust out some old school street plants, bonelesses, etc on the younger kids to make them laugh if we stop by the local skatepark though.

that´s cool...

old skool

5th March 2003, 08:44

I don't get para as much now but when I started hammering it in the early 90's, specially when combining little fellas and speed, I used to get it but mainly in the middle of the following week as opposed to the night itself.

You have to come to a decision as to whether what you're doing on the weekend is worth the para/comedown in the week.

And at the time it was.

I got bored of the speed really quickly (I do like my sleep !), and these days, aside from the usual Tuesday blues, I seem fine. Well friends may disagree but I think I'm o.k ;-)

The thing that makes me paranoid, niggly and narky, especially the day after, is booze. And that goes for a lot of people I know. But no-one seems to mention that.

So the question is, is the weekend still worth going through the Tuesday blues ...

Yep.

Rave on.

M H

5th March 2003, 09:22

Originally posted by Magnumforce
Mark tell me you didnt puke in the globus as well... I managed the dancefloor downstairs last year..
You are taking the mission data from "operation palangas"to an all new level...:)

Filled the Urinals in the bogs man.... still, not as class as the action on the dancefloor Aleks had to put up with from my ex girlfriend @ Stammheim sylvester 2000/01....

Magnumforce

5th March 2003, 10:30

cute.. :)

aleks

5th March 2003, 10:50

nye 00/01 was a classic...she set up a new world record i think.crazy...

karitek

5th March 2003, 12:53

speaking of puking and paranoia....i have this mate who whenever she gets really out of it on e, becomes paranoid that everyone at the party (including her boyfriend and all her friends) is going to puke on her. that must be awful.

dirtyho

5th March 2003, 13:20

Ha Ha Ha, thats an excellent paranoia - better than thinking everyone hates you and you're ugly ;)

wheezer

5th March 2003, 13:31

Originally posted by aleks
nye 00/01 was a classic...she set up a new world record i think.crazy...

in terms of volume or pressure? :)

Sheridan

5th March 2003, 16:37

all this talk of vomiting had me thinking of an old skatboard video for the company anti-hero. where andy roy and some other guy had a projectile vomiting contest in a kitchen. they were severly drunk and at the end of it the entire kitchen floor was covered. one of the most disturbing yet intriguing things I have seen.

thetonewrecker

5th March 2003, 17:17

oh no...the projectile vomiting stories are going to start up...

Sheridan

5th March 2003, 17:34

Originally posted by thetonewrecker
oh no...the projectile vomiting stories are going to start up...

well this one time at band camp....

jukka

5th March 2003, 18:44

Originally posted by M H

Filled the Urinals in the bogs man.... still, not as class as the action on the dancefloor Aleks had to put up with from my ex girlfriend @ Stammheim sylvester 2000/01....

hey, and she didn't stop drinking with me______
and believe me the next time there will be NO escape mate !!!
;)