Resident Perv Kid

[Orang Utan]

Every school has one.
You know, the weird one with the massive porno collection and lots of very strange ideas about sex, like Chinese women's vaginas going sideways and that sort of thing.
Ours was called Martin Jessop - imaginatively nicknamed Martin The Perv.

He told us that he spunked into a milk bottle every night and stuck it in the freezer - when he got to a full pint, he was going to thaw it out and drink it.

I wonder what happened to him.

[spoon]

our milkman was called martin.

[Yer_Maw]

Level

[Patrick]

Our milkman was the video man.
Delivered milk in the moring, and came round in the same van of an evening renting videos. Half his van was full of "special interest". It was well popular with the dads and teenagers who didn''t want to be seen getting pornos in the video shop.

[sik80]

I lived in university halls with a guy who was dubbed Merv The Perv in freshers week. Not many people ever learnt his real name, they all thought he actually called Merv when he was in fact Matthew. Not sure what his crimes were but remember the cleaners taking down his posters of that porn bint Jenny Macarthy

[Patrick]

Ah, I just remembered one - a guy our mates shared a house with at college. He had quite a collection of pornos and used to leave them out in the living room for anyone to watch. He was quite open about, and almost proud of, his collection. One night as he was going out someone asked him if he had any rizzlas and he shouted "yeah, in the top drawer of my desk" as he went out the door. Well, when we went to look for the rizzlas we found another video in the drawer which was obviously his special fave and not for public consumption. So naturally we watched it. It was all machine fucking and fisting. Mostly double-fist VA action in fact. So he became known as Dave The Fister from that point onwards. Sad (or hilarious, depending on your point of view) thing is that 10 years on none of us can remember his surname, and people usually don't get who you're talking about when you describe him, but as soon as someone says, "you know, Dave the Fister" people instantly remember him.

[content]

just saw a skit on snl with merv the perv. therefor, i think your story is fake.

[decadnids]

colin baker was our school perv. he ordered a pulsating pussy from some comany... sick boy.

[grobelaar]

Originally posted by content
just saw a skit on snl with merv the perv. therefor, i think your story is fake.

merv the perv - it's hardly original is it... there's probably hundreds of them...

[Loz]

Originally posted by decadnids
colin baker was our school perv. he ordered a pulsating pussy from some comany... sick boy.

dr who?

[content]

Originally posted by grobelaar


merv the perv - it's hardly original is it... there's probably hundreds of them...

you're fake too

[JonnySpeed]

I once looked in a mates room for a jumper because I was cold and found a stack of Euro Twink videos, gay contact mags and used mens underwear. I've never said dowt but deffo found it difficult to go to the turkish baths with him after that point. My mum said I shunt be that vain to think he would fancy me.

[V Knid esq]

Steven... Steven... damn can't remember his name but he used to boast that he put peanut butter on his knob and get his dog to lick it. He also used to put ketchup on tampons then hide behind bushes and lob them at cars.

[JonnySpeed]

was a kid caught wanking in Chess Club. dunno how that quite happened or whether it was true but it was funny. Think he was just having a scratch and well you know school rumours.

[skosh]

i cant think of any

[Loz]

someone in the student computer club did a turd in a card file box and put it on the shelf in the computer room on the last day of school in the summer. Someone then found it the following September. Lovely.

No one ever found out who it was.

[mdk]

and now you thinks its time you admitted your prank and claimed your long awaited mucky glory i suppose.

[Loz]

nah, I was in the 5th Form at the time. Only the 6th Formers had access to the computer room.