Remix Murder

[cut out]

I was at the bar ordering a couple of cocktails last night. As is the case in 95% of bars in Leicester they were playing dire bland house music. All of a sudden a 'remix' of one of my favourite tunes 'Tonight' by Low came on - basically the vocal with a totally crap boom-chik drum beat and 2 note bassline.

It was so shit I almost walked out in protest, but the cocktails looked pretty good, so I didn't.

Anyway - Anyone know what this piece of shit is so I can hunt down the person responisible and feed them dog excrement?

Anyone had any similar remix-shocks they could share to alleviate my suffering?

[nikrem]

god nooooooooooooooooooo! that's terrible. if you find em let me know and i'll help you inflict pain.

i periodically hear crass mullering of previously beautiful music by the house-by-numbers brigade, and it is fucking depressing.

[stormfield]

sounds horrible.

some years ago there was a plague of cheesy house bootlegs e.g. nirvana, m jackson etc... cheap party trick music. fucked me right off

[joe pinapples]

I recently heard out at the arches - a shitty d nb remix of tainted love and an awful d nb remix of smells like teen spirit - both absolutely fucking terrible ... who sits down and thinks .. "hmmm Cobain's voice is good but that backing, no way! It needs a mediocre everyman channel 4 documentary circa 1999 drum loop under it!" Cunts who make them and its cunts who play them ... tho the dj in question (Mark Moore - may have made it himself for all I know - I hope he didn't)

[thembuzz]

yeah, my personal favourite - the blind date theme tune - was once given the 140bpm 4-on-the-floor treatment and i was gutted

[Sheridan]

those kind of 'remixes' I try and put out of my head.
but yeah, that kind of crap is all over the place.
I know I have heard songs by depeche mode or other decent 80's stuff get 'remixed' to death. I think what I come across more is hearing some recent pop tune that is already crap get this type of treatment that makes all the more worse.

[terminal viscosity]

theres so many shite prince bootleg house whitelabels.


do these fools think they can do better than prince?

[Basic 2: The Revenge]

see you at the party!

[Dask]

That Strings of life remix

Alex F Crazy Frog

Are 2 that come to mind...

[FiST]

all those terrible breaks versions of shit tecno classics do my head in.

[troymoyonionz]

i saw twitch from optimo play @ primavera and all i remember him playing was nirvana and white stripe tech house remixes..
well shit...ecspecially from a man who normally plays top draw tunes..
that nirvana one makes my hair stand on end..

[cut out]

Another one is that bizarre remix of Fade into You by Mazzy Star that the bloke from Girls on Top did with Jarvis Cocker.

Total cock.

[tsr_tomas]

vitalic - suicide commando.


ugh.

[Hagbard]

There was a Jungle or hardcore version of the Channel 4 News music.

I liked that. It was quite apocalyptic.

[big raff]

Originally posted by Dask
That Strings of life remix


is really big over here at the moment. it astonishes me to think that such a poor version should be so big 17 years after the original.

[Basic 2: The Revenge]

..to add insult to injury, they added singing to it one year later. What a horrible afterthought, to an horrendous remake!!

[terminal viscosity]

its a shit tune anyway



(ducks to avoid purist barrage of abuse)

[Level]

Got to admit I fuckin hate it now and wouldn't be too upset if a bottle landed in the direction of any wank who plays it again.

(disclaimer : joking about the bottle)

[terminal viscosity]

this cunt certainly wont be playing it again anytime soon

http://www.ursulascostumes.com/Prosthetics/Grand_Opening.jpg

[Dask]

Originally posted by FiST
all those terrible breaks versions of shit tecno classics do my head in.

I'm with you on that.

The worst breaks remixes I've heard are:

Charly - Proidgy
LFO - LFO
Stakker - Humanoid
Original Unknown - Valley of the shadows.

I find it impossible to imagine the reasons behind making breaks version of hardcore tunes.

WTF?!

[Basic 2: The Revenge]

I find it impossible to imagine making breaks.

[M H]

what do you have to say about your cover of the birdy song then cutout? (uglyfunk 04)

Although I must admit, good cover versions of shit songs is better than shit versions of cool songs

[thembuzz]

i like breaks. who wants a fight?

[cut out]

i find it hard to imagine there are many people who have an emotional attachment to the birdy tune beyond - "What a great time I had in that Disco in Butlins in 1982". But I take your point and swear never to inflict another sub-noodles noisecore remix of a novelty 80s record on the public again.

...apart from my upcoming Agadoo'GabbaDooDoo' remix coming up on God's Chodbin Records, which has already been mastered.

[Basic 2: The Revenge]

oh, grow up

[Basic 2: The Revenge]

bollox, missed again....


note to self - use quotes

[M H]

Originally posted by cut out

...apart from my upcoming Agadoo'GabbaDooDoo' remix coming up on God's Chodbin Records, which has already been mastered.

you know I loved it from the start paul, it sounded like being at a wedding reception when your drink had been spiked with something really nasty, and if Agadoo is in the pipeline by all means, bring it on...
I mean it kinda turns the whole thing on it's head really eh?

[Ali]

Seem to remember owning a record called 'Abba Gabba' on Mokum, which featured gabbered-up versions of Super Trooper etc - hideous twelve.

The DJ Rush remix of Where's Your Child was horrible too, simply because he managed to drain every drop of menace out of it.

Look forward to your Agadoo mix Paul, you weirdo.

[Rhys]

Originally posted by cut out


Anyway - Anyone know what this piece of shit is so I can hunt down the person responisible and feed them dog excrement?



Could be this: http://www.discogs.com/release/300740

It's got an acapella on it so he might have played that over another track.

[notorious J.I.M]

I heard a dreadful version of Kraftwerk's 'The Robots' which was spead up rediculously with a crap 4-4 under it and just the other day heard a dire tech house mix of Papua New Guinea, which made me utter a few expletives! With you on the breaks bootlegs too, there was one of Activ 8 recently with extended drumroll buildups and breakdowns all over it. Decidedly poo!

[cut out]

Originally posted by Rhys


Could be this: http://www.discogs.com/release/300740

It's got an acapella on it so he might have played that over another track.

Oh god... that's it I reckon. Even worse, it looks official.

My thoughts about one of my favourite bands have suddenly become very muddled.

[wheezer]

there have been tons of papua new guinea remixes and they all suck donkey turd, including the original.

I liked that album of madonna house cover remixes a few years back!

[JE:5]

Where was that then Paul, Muse, Nine bar? I used to hate those bars down the Narb when I lived there.

[notorious J.I.M]

Originally posted by wheezer
there have been tons of papua new guinea remixes and they all suck donkey turd, including the original.

WRONG! The original mixes including the fine Weatherall mix are not donkey turd! The piss poor trance, breaks and d&b re-rubs on the other hand are. It may be a little overplayed but that does not make the original equestrine excrement!

[gypsy_cream]

has anyone heard the "techno remix" of Aha - Take on me ???

hahaha ohmygod... it goes "take an E" instead of "take on me" then it goes "take me upppp"

[cut out]

Originally posted by JE:5
Where was that then Paul, Muse, Nine bar? I used to hate those bars down the Narb when I lived there.

nah, it was Revolution on new walk - not a bad place to get a drink out in the open air, and the cocktails are Ok... but it's still the same old leicester shit innit really.

[bitch one]

Originally posted by troymoyonionz
i saw twitch from optimo play @ primavera and all i remember him playing was nirvana and white stripe tech house remixes..

that would be him using ableton live to mix short loops into microhouse tunes.

[troymoyonionz]

Originally posted by bitch one


that would be him using ableton live to mix short loops into microhouse tunes.

some times....but he played that nirvana track for what seemed like an hour....
ive heard hundreds of twitch sets and trust me , this one sucked...totally for the bcn euro trash rectro ponces..it was 5am in the morning and everyone was battered...but it just seemed like a bit of a cop out..
he was having to deal with loads of 'revellers' running on to stage and hugging him..

it wa that nirvana track...i couldnt get it out of my head..
i still love ya twitch!

[May Kasahara]

There was a feature on Front Row on Radio 4 last night about an officially sanctioned remix CD of Motown classics. I mean, who the fuck would even attempt to remix Papa Was A Rolling Stone? Why? What was the purpose? All the snippets they played were completely redundant at best, inducing of mindless rage at worst.

Fucking Motown. "When makers of timeless music go bad" - also featuring Low.

[gypsy_cream]

take an EEEEEEEEE

[cut out]

Originally posted by May Kasahara
"When makers of timeless music go bad" - also featuring Low.

...or more likely when makers of timeless music get strapped for cash in Low's case.

[May Kasahara]

At least it proves the saintly trio DO have flaws.

[cut out]

maybe it also shows they like to take loads of drugs, strip off their sweaty tops and wave their hands in the air?

[darrell]

But on the good side you have stuff like
Schneider TM The Light 3000

[Basic 2: The Revenge]

Good for two listens...

[May Kasahara]

Originally posted by cut out
maybe it also shows they like to take loads of drugs, strip off their sweaty tops and wave their hands in the air?

"Each leap brings us closer to God!" :)