so my gf leaved me alone because of another one.....

[KaOz]

sad but true... after 3 years....


fuck fuck fuck

[komakid]

*hug*



"some of you might not agree
coz you proberly like a lot of misery
but think a while and you will see
broken hearts are for assholes"
f. zappa

[Mui]

damn, that's harsh.
I hate that 'just fresh dumped' feeling....
hope you get over it quick man.

[Lady E]

kaoz im so sorry to hear that.

it is a really awful thing to happen.

lots of sympathy going out to you and keep hold of your self-esteem over the next few weeks and months.

[Basic 2: The Revenge]

kill her family

sorry to hear that mate, it hurts doesnt it. in the stomach really its sad. i felt sad when i got dumped
but you have to realise some people are just not advanced enough for you and your girlfriend must want
some one more entry level, whos up for the Trite life. Dont u worry Kaos, your the righteous man and she is the weak
and the pitiful.

[V Knid esq]

Downer, Kaos. Stay strong.

[dirtyho]

My girlfriend split up with me the other week because we don't see each other enough - and it's my birthday today - sob :(

[KaOz]

happy bday anywayse

[dirtyho]

cheers

[decadnids]

sorry to hear it kaos and dirtyho.

chin up and all that stuff.

[JonnySpeed]

bad shit, man. I know its a chiche but make sure you have at least 3 hobbies and make sure you get out to see your friends... being single has many, many advantages.

[Daddys Girl]

sorry to hear that kaoz ( to dirtyho too..)... indeed it's a rotten feeling :( try not to let it get you down too much

d_g

[bracket]

The only way to get over a girl is get on top of another one......

...or so ive been told.

[dirtyho]

We're still friendly - it's not a painful one - just a bit sad

[KaOz]

and me wanted to ask her if she wants to marry me in 2,5 months :/

fuckin sucks

[jukka]

rrrr, i am realy sorry for you kaoz !



...and dirtyho too

[nico]

kaoz, i´m sorry for ya...dunno what to say - if you want to i can give u a call later

[CHIP TRONIC]

i am sad to hear that. i thought you two were a good match.

well, look forward never backwards! (as stupid as it may sound)

[goone]

sorry to hear that guys

[Paddy]

harsh. kill the other guy.

[troymoyonionz]

that sucks kaoz..
round up good mates and go and get drunk and feel the love with them ..
then kill the other guy on-mass when steaming

[tania]

sorry to hear that kaoz.. 3 years is a long time to be with someone and it hurts when its all over (especially if you are the dumpee..).
look at the bright side! she was obviously not "the one", which im sure u'll get to meet sooner or later.. plus you're really young, good looking and probably really good fun, so you might as well go out and enjoy singledom for a bit.. it can be excellent fun, trust me:D

[Ladytron]

sad :-(

nik-nak, maybe it's better if we first kill kaoz's gf

[Sheridan]

what a pitty.
sorry to hear about that kaoz.

[pille'ocheoni]

fuck chris! i know she meant alot to you. im truely sorry for you. hugs dood. heres a beer one me

http://www.todays-weddings.com/sunshop/sunshop/images/products/099832240521030.jpg

[thembuzz]

that's rough, man. you just make sure you come out the other side unscathed, yeah? i know it's the last thing you want to hear right now, but everyone's right - young and single is a good way to be. the sun will shine on yo pretty face again

[KaOz]

eh she hasnt another one... i was wrong o_O

leaved anyway....

[KaOz]

maybe i should hope... maybe not... she said shes so confused... wants a own flat and think about the situation

[tania]

move on is what i say! plenty more fish in the sea..

[TheWasp]

get yourself out this weekend and see if you can find yourself a lady up for some fun ...

It's either that or stay in and cry




and wank

[Lady E]

i would just give it a bit of time and keep an eye on your single male friends who probably all fancy her and will be making a move soon, if you want her back.

[gypsy_cream]

sorry to hear kaoz :( hope you're ok.

you say she's confused and she wants to get her own flat n stuff, well maybe she needs space (?) sorry if that's wrong though :/

[gypsy_cream]

Originally posted by Monoxian
get yourself out this weekend and see if you can find yourself a lady up for some fun ...

It's either that or stay in and cry




and wank

wrong thing to do :-p

[gypsy_cream]

Originally posted by emma
i would just give it a bit of time and keep an eye on your single male friends who probably all fancy her and will be making a move soon, if you want her back.

good idea emma...

[marcel]

sorry to hear that kaoz. you looked happy wiht her

[Orang Utan]

I dunno - I wished I'd got out there and shagged around after my last break up - would have helped me get over it, instead of moping around for a couple of years thinking I was useless.

[gypsy_cream]

Originally posted by Orang Utan
I dunno - I wished I'd got out there and shagged around after my last break up - would have helped me get over it, instead of moping around for a couple of years thinking I was useless.

dont mean that its not a good idea in that way.....its just too soon after but it's up to kaoz, thats just my opinion

[dirtyho]

emma, how do you know we are such opportunist bastards ;)

[tania]

@ orang: a couple of years????
u are useless!!

[Orang Utan]

Making up for lost time now :)

[tania]

good boy!

[gunjack]

forget her, opulence is the most practical form of revenge... go have a massage or a dip in a hot bath and then head out with the boys on the prowl for fresh juicy fruits : )

[chuck plethora]

Sorry to hear that man - it's the hardest ever, but the best thing to do is hang out with your mates, and oh yeah - CASUAL SEX, MULTIPLE PARTNERS, OH-SO-MUCH MEANINGLESS ACTS OF BESTIAL CONGRESS! iS SOOOOOooooooooo much fun - and you're the only boss of you now...

[gypsy_cream]

humans are disgusting..:(

[dirtyho]

chuck - easy for you to say in fucking sao paulo! ;)

[tania]

yeah right u absoloute whore!

[Orang Utan]

I hear they like the ginger man in Brazil/South America cos we're so 'exotic'

[TheWasp]

Originally posted by gypsy_cream
humans are disgusting..:(


whats the matter wi a jilted man going out and looking for some fun .......I'm sure there will be a needy lady out there also looking to get her jollies .....

fire in mate

[gypsy_cream]

i could go into my reasons for thinkin thats the wrong thing to do but i dont wanna discuss it in kaoz's thread....its not a nice time for him :-*

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by emma
i would just give it a bit of time and keep an eye on your single male friends who probably all fancy her and will be making a move soon, if you want her back.

tchah! that's a cardinal sin in blokeland! that's the most dastardly, low-down-dirtiest transgression of the number 1 golden rule of male comradeship! what do you think of us?

[TheWasp]

fair doo's Gypo

[gypsy_cream]

male friends who fancy the girl whos just split up with their mate are the first to tell them NOT to get back together ...its obvious what theyre upto

[gypsy_cream]

Originally posted by Monoxian
fair doo's Gypo

:)

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by gypsy_cream
i could go into my reasons for thinkin thats the wrong thing to do but i dont wanna discuss it in kaoz's thread....its not a nice time for him :-*

tentatively agree. basically, it's up to kaoz how he deals with this. if he needs to go out and get laid, he'll do it. if he needs to stay home, cry and wank, he'll do it. let's just be supportive, yeah? and stop trying to tell him how to sort his life out. if there was a secret technique to getting over personal hardships, life would be a piece of piss and someone, somewhere would be fucking rolling in it

[Jeniffer Mills]

So ne Kuh! Wie kann sie dich einfach so verlassen?!

[Yer_Maw]

Originally posted by emma
i would just give it a bit of time and keep an eye on your single male friends who probably all fancy her and will be making a move soon, if you want her back.

eh, is it not really bad form to sniff about your friends ex, or is that just me?

[Orang Utan]

Originally posted by thembuzz


tchah! that's a cardinal sin in blokeland! that's the most dastardly, low-down-dirtiest transgression of the number 1 golden rule of male comradeship!

Is it? What's wrong with it if he is the dumper or the decision has been mutual?
Fair enough if he's still holding a torch for her, but anything goes if not, IMO.

[Hagbard]

Originally posted by Yer_Maw


eh, is it not really bad form to sniff about your friends ex, or is that just me?

It is bad form.. but I've found whenver i've been single its yer mates Girlfriends that you fancy the most.. you know.. like how you tend to like the same music and movies as your mates..

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by Orang Utan


Is it? What's wrong with it if he is the dumper or the decision has been mutual?
Fair enough if he's still holding a torch for her, but anything goes if not, IMO.

you think? moving in on a mate's ex is just plain bad form in the circles i move in, whatever the circumstances. you can end a relationship with someone and still carry a torch for them - adult break-ups are a bit more complicated than 'i'm dumping you for tina - she let me finger her'. and how do you know what your friend is feeling unless they tell you explicitly? best not to act on what you can't know

any case, this is all academic. kaoz didn't initiate the break-up, and if his mates are worth anything they won't start circling like vultures

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by Steev


It is bad form.. but I've found whenver i've been single its yer mates Girlfriends that you fancy the most.. you know.. like how you tend to like the same music and movies as your mates..

i know exactly what you mean, but i think the forbidden fruit factor has a lot to do with that. i suppose it stands to reason that someone who shares enough common ground with one of your friends to be going out with them in the first place is probably going to share some common interests with you too

[Orang Utan]

Originally posted by thembuzz
[B]

you think? moving in on a mate's ex is just plain bad form in the circles i move in, whatever the circumstances. you can end a relationship with someone and still carry a torch for them - adult break-ups are a bit more complicated than 'i'm dumping you for tina - she let me finger her'. and how do you know what your friend is feeling unless they tell you explicitly? best not to act on what you can't know


That's ridiculously limiting - surely they would tell you if the were a mate? What if you have feelings for that person? My first longtime girlfriend started going out with my best mate not long after I finished with her. Can't say I ever felt betrayed or upset about it. Surely your mate should be happy for you?

[Hagbard]

Originally posted by Orang Utan


That's ridiculously limiting - surely they would tell you if the were a mate? What if you have feelings for that person? My first longtime girlfriend started going out with my best mate not long after I finished with her. Can't say I ever felt betrayed or upset about it. Surely your mate should be happy for you?

Dunno mate.. you must know a lot of people who have very 'clean' break-ups.. I certainly don't.

[Yer_Maw]

Originally posted by Steev


It is bad form.. but I've found whenver i've been single its yer mates Girlfriends that you fancy the most.. you know.. like how you tend to like the same music and movies as your mates..

or do you do this because you already know them and it makes it easier to meet them and talk to them? :! bad form!

[Hagbard]

Originally posted by Yer_Maw


or do you do this because you already know them and it makes it easier to meet them and talk to them? :!

Heheh, are you an amateur psychotherapist?

[Orang Utan]

Originally posted by Steev


Dunno mate.. you must know a lot of people who have very 'clean' break-ups.. I certainly don't.

Yeah, but you don't want to go out with the people who've had messy break ups!

[Yer_Maw]

Originally posted by Steev


Heheh, are you an amateur psychotherapist?

nah thats 20 quid mate :)

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by Orang Utan


That's ridiculously limiting - surely they would tell you if the were a mate? What if you have feelings for that person? My first longtime girlfriend started going out with my best mate not long after I finished with her. Can't say I ever felt betrayed or upset about it. Surely your mate should be happy for you?

then i'm pleased that worked out well for you all. but any time i've seen anything similar happen it's not been pretty

and if you think your mate will necessarily bear their soul to you and tell you that they still can't get that woman they dumped out of their mind, you must know some unusually open men. i don't think we're known for our emotional honesty

[Hagbard]

Originally posted by Orang Utan


Yeah, but you don't want to go out with the people who've had messy break ups!

Fair point. Remind me to never introduce you to my girlfriend all the same ;)

[civ]

@ kaoz: sorry to hear that .. i also broke up myself recently with my bf. needed more space as well.
im getting used to living alone again and i kinda like it i must say :)
and me and him are still good friends :)

take care .

[Orang Utan]

I don't have a habit of moving in on other blokes' exes - I just think that people tend to get too jealous about other people's relationships, when in theory, they have no right to be any more.

[gypsy_cream]

to be honest if me and nik-nak split up for whatever reason, i would never go out with any of his/our mates because i couldnt do something like that to him. would defo cause hurt/agro/etc

[Hagbard]

Originally posted by Orang Utan
I don't have a habit of moving in on other blokes' exes - I just think that people tend to get too jealous about other people's relationships, when in theory, they have no right to be any more.

Since when have these things stuck to rational rules? I mean you can justify most things if you leave your empathy at the door.

[gypsy_cream]

Originally posted by Orang Utan
I don't have a habit of moving in on other blokes' exes - I just think that people tend to get too jealous about other people's relationships, when in theory, they have no right to be any more.

thats easier said than done,....you cant say when people can and cannot be jealous.. its a natural yet horrible feeling

[Orang Utan]

Maybe I'm a freak then, cos I think jealousy is one of the weirdest human emotions and I don't feel it for very long.

[Hagbard]

Originally posted by Orang Utan
Maybe I'm a freak then, cos I think jealousy is one of the weirdest human emotions and I don't feel it for very long.

It is weird, irrational, horrible, stupid.. yet also quite important sometimes.. although if it gets out of control it's self-destructive... you're lucky if you get over it quick cos 99% of the world population doesn't seem to.

[pongoid]

Originally posted by emma
i would just give it a bit of time and keep an eye on your single male friends who probably all fancy her and will be making a move soon, if you want her back.

Cardinal sin, Em. No past, present of future ex's. Bros before hoes. That's the rule. I know it doesn't sound nice at all, but it holds if a guy wants to be true friends with another. Messing with a friend's girl is a NO-NO.

I trust my mates to look after my girl when I'm not present as they trust me. If somebody were messing about with my mates lady and she didn't appreciate the advances, and made it clear, I'd have to step in as my mate would for me under the circumstances. We look after our own.

When my mates break up with girls, those girls are no longer on the menu, even if they try to be. Otherwise, our friendships are doomed, and all of our mates that follow the code will turn me away for as long as I am with that girl and maybe for a time after. That goes for any of my mates. It's just not cool. Intoduces too many emotional dynamics and issues of distrust.

Maybe it sounds old fashioned, but that's how a lot of fellas are, and it's a good rule to follow if you want to stay tight with your mates.

So, ladies be advised, and forget the conniving shit. It only brings trouble.



Kaoz, sorry to hear she left you when you were ready to propose. Get as angry and resentful as you want, but whatever you do, get over the idea of her coming back to you and you two making up as fast as you can. It will never be the same, and you can't live your life wondering if she'll come back, or what she's doing. You have to let her go, and let YOU go as well.

Get on with life, and do your thing. Spend time around other people. Don't spend to long alone. Some time is good, of course, but too much can really make you question yourself. DO things with friends. If you don't have good ones closeby then make some.b Make tracks together or just go for walks in the park with your friend/s and watch the squirrels playing and talking shit at each other.

Just don't sit and mope for too long. Don't worry about other women for now. Just worry about you being with you and with your mates. There will be ladies around.

Cheer up, man. She could have pulled this shit AFTER you proposed to her.

[bracket]

Originally posted by Orang Utan
I hear they like the ginger man in Brazil/South America cos we're so 'exotic'

lol brought a tear to my eye that did...

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by Orang Utan
Maybe I'm a freak then, cos I think jealousy is one of the weirdest human emotions and I don't feel it for very long.

you're lucky if you can rationalize your feelings that way. i wish i could. people are complicated fuckers, and when anything major happens in life - like a break-up - most of us get to enjoy a rollercoaster ride of bollocks before the cool, reasonable part of us kicks in and starts bringing us to our senses. there's no making sense of the human heart - mad, stupid, irrational emotions like jealousy are sometimes par for the course

[Daddys Girl]

Originally posted by gypsy_cream
thats easier said than done,....you cant say when people can and cannot be jealous.. its a natural yet horrible feeling

god, i second that. wouldn't it be mad if it was something that could be switched off easily? - stop me from turning into that ugly/hideous cow i've been sometimes...

[nico]

Originally posted by civ

and me and him are still good friends :)

take care .

it´s cool when that works ;) one ex of mine (we were together for 7 years) is my best female friend now - would be bad, if she wasn´t there...
and yes, kaoz, take care - there will come a hard time for sure, but try to go your way the next time. try to expect nothing - if she wants to return, she will do so...and if not, you will be (better) prepared then :)

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by nico


it´s cool when that works ;) one ex of mine (we were together for 7 years) is my best female friend now - would be bad, if she wasn´t there...
and yes, kaoz, take care - there will come a hard time for sure, but try to go your way the next time. try to expect nothing - if she wants to return, she will do so...and if not, you will be (better) prepared then :)

bang on. it's all learnin'

[drop]

normally i wouldn't do the pc thing
but
what i wrote wrong was soooooo wrong

kinda embarassing :!

[Paddy]

listen to lots of very sad songs, then kill your ex and her new man.
slowly.

[KaOz]

thanx for all your words guys.

yeah at moment im on the sigur ros trip

[Lady E]

Originally posted by Orang Utan
Maybe I'm a freak then, cos I think jealousy is one of the weirdest human emotions and I don't feel it for very long.

it's not a weird emotion, in that i understand where it comes from. but i'm with you. i dont think ive ever felt strong jealousy over another woman and an ex, current boyfriend, etc. ive been dumped a couple of times, been in 'open' relationships...it doesnt affect me. i never want to get into someone else's head and police their behaviour and stop them from doing what they choose to do. jealousy is a dangerous, slippery slope, which poisons the soul.

i think it is not nice if someone steps in to pull their friend's ex immediately, but in time and if the relationship is clearly over, i think it is ridiculous that people who like each other should be prevented from exploring that because of a previous failed liaison. adults can deal with difficult emotions and should never prevent other people's potential happiness. i find this attitude just reeks of ownership. i dont own my partner, he chooses to be with me and vice versa.

[Lara]

That's rubbish Kaoz I hope you feel better soon. I got mugged for my bike by three blokes yesterday so I am also wallowing in misery. It was only 3 weeks old. I'm cooking loads of nice food and going to the cinema to see really good films- those are good things to do at times like these.

[Paddy]

Originally posted by Lara
That's rubbish Kaoz I hope you feel better soon. I got mugged for my bike by three blokes yesterday so I am also wallowing in misery. It was only 3 weeks old. I'm cooking loads of nice food and going to the cinema to see really good films- those are good things to do at times like these.

thats bad news lara. you should start carryin a tec 9. or a bat.

[Paddy]

i've got a new plan kaoz, you should listen to loads of necro and think how bad assed you really are.

[FredDibnah]

its cool - move on and chin up -

i once was dumped by a chick who then got into the sack with my flat mate who was a chick!

I didn't drill any holes in the wall! Now that is a real freak out - i used to sit and get reefer'd watching countdown while the tow of them were up stairs at it making more noise that a hetro couple!

I am over it now - those pair of dirty dyke bitches from hell!

[Paddy]

jaysus!

[darrell]

Originally posted by emma


it's not a weird emotion, in that i understand where it comes from. but i'm with you. i dont think ive ever felt strong jealousy over another woman and an ex, current boyfriend, etc. ive been dumped a couple of times, been in 'open' relationships...it doesnt affect me. i never want to get into someone else's head and police their behaviour and stop them from doing what they choose to do. jealousy is a dangerous, slippery slope, which poisons the soul.

i think it is not nice if someone steps in to pull their friend's ex immediately, but in time and if the relationship is clearly over, i think it is ridiculous that people who like each other should be prevented from exploring that because of a previous failed liaison. adults can deal with difficult emotions and should never prevent other people's potential happiness. i find this attitude just reeks of ownership. i dont own my partner, he chooses to be with me and vice versa.

very well put

[dirtyho]

I'm still good mates with my ex in brighton, we were together for 9 yrs. I went out with the girl I've just split up with for my birthday last night too - we'd already arranged it before we split. It was kind of weird going separate ways at the end of the night, but I'd rather stay friends than just not face it because it's painful. It's a bit shit at first but OK in the end - also I'm not really the madly jealous type. Keep your chin up, you'll be OK Kaoz - try to stay positive. Bad feelings don't help.

[Daddys Girl]

@ Lara - I'm so sorry to hear that - hope you're doing okay x

[KaOz]

i simply love to love and get loved if ya know wh0t i mean

[JonnySpeed]

Originally posted by emma
i would just give it a bit of time and keep an eye on your single male friends who probably all fancy her and will be making a move soon, if you want her back.

Two mates shagging the same girl is rather suspectly homosexual, imo. Not being funny but once my mate have gone there, it has no appeal for me and is definately a good way of losing a friend....unless you both do love each other or you're not actually 'mates'

[Lady E]

Originally posted by JonnySpeed


Two mates shagging the same girl is rather suspectly homosexual, imo. Not being funny but once my mate have gone there, it has no appeal for me and is definately a good way of losing a friend....unless you both do love each other or you're not actually 'mates'

why would your friend having 'been there' be a problem?

is it because you would be anxious about your performance in comparison? or do you feel that the woman would have been sullied in some way?

i just dont understand. if you liked someone surely anything like that should become irrelevant, and if it stopped you from getting with someone lovely then it is a futile attitude

personally if i wanted to have sex with someone the last thing that would be on my mind would be who had 'been there' before. i am very good friends with my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, and he is very good friends with my ex-boyfriend, cristian. i dont think anyone wasted much time thinking about what went on between couples before they split up.

[Dask]

Originally posted by JonnySpeed


Two mates shagging the same girl is rather suspectly homosexual, imo. Not being funny but once my mate have gone there, it has no appeal for me and is definately a good way of losing a friend....unless you both do love each other or you're not actually 'mates'

Over the space of nearly ten years I would say that most of my closest female mates, have gone out with most of my male mates and vice versa.

I really don't see it as a problem, not quite sure what your trying to say with the Homosexual remark, but we are all still really good friends, and can laugh about that fact that is has been pretty incesteous, but that's what growing up is about I guess.

Emma's comments about jealousy are absoultly spot on.

[Daddys Girl]

Originally posted by KaOz
i simply love to love and get loved if ya know wh0t i mean

;)

not exactly had an abundance of 'boyfriends', but out of the few, I can say that I've managed to remain good friends with only one of them, which is a good feeling @ least. He's really sweet guy that works in a different dept. of my (old) office at university - we still talk, etc, & I know the girl that he is seeing @ the moment...

[Goonie]

don't worry Kaoz the person who is dumped always comes out best in the long run.

I prescribe a boozy weekend with mates.

[Dask]

The way I see it is:

If you go out with someone for x number of years, there is obviously a reason you went out with them, you got along with them as a friend in the first place.

So why throw away a friendship over a failed relationship? It's sad if you throw away the friendship. Then the time you have spent with them is wasted.

Obviously as soon as love is involved all logic and reason goes out the window. ;)

[Paddy]

well, i almost split up with clair last year and it was a pretty hard time. a lot of bad stuff happened in the space of a couple of months and it was pretty heavy on the both of us. anyway, we worked it out after some time, so keep yer head above water kaoz...

[Spandex]

My ex called this morning and woke me up to ask me to go out and stick a note on a neighbours door to tell a bloke to deliver a shed to a different house... it was really confusing.. and ALL BEFORE 10 AM.

We did get on alright... but she's blown it now.

[bitch one]

'just go out and get laid'

yeah, right. and that's easy to do when you've just split up with someone is it? what utter bollocks.

[gypsy_cream]

Originally posted by bitch one
'just go out and get laid'

yeah, right. and that's easy to do when you've just split up with someone is it? what utter bollocks.

exactly my thoughts.

[dirtyho]

I don't know about anyone else, but sleeping with any old person because you've split up sounds like it would make me feel shit. I remember doing that as a teenager, sleeping with someone who I wasn't that into just for a shag and being wracked with guilt about it. Having that to think about on top of splitting up with someone you really care about - no thanks.

[May Kasahara]

Well, yeah, but going out and getting pissed out of your face makes you feel shit as well, but it's still classic post-break up behaviour. It's just escapism innit?

[dirtyho]

I'm quite down for the getting pissed bit. Yeah it makes you feel shit - but it doesn't make me feel shit about myself.

[JonnySpeed]

Originally posted by Dask


Over the space of nearly ten years I would say that most of my closest female mates, have gone out with most of my male mates and vice versa.

I really don't see it as a problem, not quite sure what your trying to say with the Homosexual remark, but we are all still really good friends, and can laugh about that fact that is has been pretty incesteous, but that's what growing up is about I guess.

Emma's comments about jealousy are absoultly spot on.

You live in Cornwall or Norfolk? ;)

I thought the topic was shagging a girl directly after your mate has gone out with them - getting in there quick or at the same time etc...

and to answer Emma, yes if you really like them then nothing matters except whether you'll loose a mate over it and then you have to decide whether it would be worth it.

If any of my friends shagged some of my ex-girlfriends I would be pretty upset to be honest maybe its because I think London is big enough that you don't need to invade your mate's personal relationships just to shoot your nuts. Its like why you don't shag your mate's sister if you know it would piss them off.

[dirtyho]

He probably lives in Brighton :)

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by Dask
The way I see it is:

If you go out with someone for x number of years, there is obviously a reason you went out with them, you got along with them as a friend in the first place.

So why throw away a friendship over a failed relationship? It's sad if you throw away the friendship. Then the time you have spent with them is wasted.

Obviously as soon as love is involved all logic and reason goes out the window. ;)

are we not all falling into the trap of thinking our own experiences and emotions will necessarily match others'? sure, if you've been out with someone for so many years, there would've been a good reason for that. but i've learnt the hard way that love isn't the big, sacred, once-in-a-lifetime thing i once mistook it for. life happens, love's shiny veneer can become tarnished, and the same is true for friendship

i broke up with someone last year with whom i'd spend pretty much my entire adult life. we'd grown apart, and as a consequence we just don't have an awful lot to say to each other anymore. i can't say i went through a lot of pain when the relationship actually came to an end because i'd already been aware for months that it was going to, i'd already done all the mourning i needed to do and i was ready to move on

which leads me to the going-out-and-getting-laid thing. that was exactly what i needed to do, i did it and it felt good. now i'm going to enjoy staying well and truly single for as long as i can. the same response might not work for someone else, but it's what worked for me and i'd rather not think there were people out there reckoning i've somehow got it wrong

like i said before - what kaoz does now is his business. let's stop bickering about the rights and wrongs because, quite frankly, there aren't any

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by JonnySpeed
If any of my friends shagged some of my ex-girlfriends I would be pretty upset to be honest maybe its because I think London is big enough that you don't need to invade your mate's personal relationships just to shoot your nuts. Its like why you don't shag your mate's sister if you know it would piss them off.

actually, i have to confess some guilt on that count

[Dask]

Originally posted by JonnySpeed


You live in Cornwall or Norfolk? ;)

I thought the topic was shagging a girl directly after your mate has gone out with them - getting in there quick or at the same time etc...

and to answer Emma, yes if you really like them then nothing matters except whether you'll loose a mate over it and then you have to decide whether it would be worth it.

If any of my friends shagged some of my ex-girlfriends I would be pretty upset to be honest maybe its because I think London is big enough that you don't need to invade your mate's personal relationships just to shoot your nuts. Its like why you don't shag your mate's sister if you know it would piss them off.

Are you by nature a jealous person?

Just curious.

[Hagbard]

Originally posted by dirtyho
He probably lives in Brighton :)

Or Chelmsford...

[Dask]

Originally posted by thembuzz



like i said before - what kaoz does now is his business. let's stop bickering about the rights and wrongs because, quite frankly, there aren't any

I didn't see it as bickering, mearly stating opinion from personal experience, surely that's all you can do?

Think we're all grown up enough and experienced in life to know 'thinking our own experiences and emotions will necessarily match others' is blatently not true.

[Dask]

Originally posted by Steev


Or Chelmsford...

Or London. :)

[May Kasahara]

Originally posted by dirtyho
I'm quite down for the getting pissed bit. Yeah it makes you feel shit - but it doesn't make me feel shit about myself.

God, it does me.

[dirtyho]

Poor you - I experience no self-loathing through hangovers. Although I do often wish I hadn't got quite so pissed.

[Lady E]

oh i get terrible self-loathing from hangovers. dreadful.

[pongoid]

Originally posted by emma
oh i get terrible self-loathing from hangovers. dreadful.

"Oh you poor dear. Why not sit down here and tell me all about it? Hair of the dog? Mimosa to cheer you up, maybe?"

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by Dask


I didn't see it as bickering, mearly stating opinion from personal experience, surely that's all you can do?

Think we're all grown up enough and experienced in life to know 'thinking our own experiences and emotions will necessarily match others' is blatently not true.

it seemed to me there's been some bickering on the going-out-and-getting-laid issue, but i could be reading more into it than there is

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by emma
oh i get terrible self-loathing from hangovers. dreadful.

i get that from hitting the little fellahs, but i suppose that's par for the course. curiously, i don't tend to get hangovers from alcohol, but then i'm not much of a drinker so i don't usually pack away as much as anyone else. drinking when i'm pilling, on the other hand, almost always exacerbates the resulting hangover to the power of about a friggin' million

[May Kasahara]

How strange. I've always found other substances soak up the ill-effects of lakes of booze with no problem.

[JonnySpeed]

Originally posted by Dask


Are you by nature a jealous person?

Just curious.

Think its more that when I really like a girl I am pretty honest, open and committed. There's nearly 10m people in London, if you need to shag your mates ex-girlfriends then I find it a bit rude and an invasion of a very personal side of my life.

As for if a girl is sulled or soiled by one of my mates shagging them = no definately not. I just don't feel the need to 'get in there' and invade their relationships over something as trivial as a shag.

As I said, if you love the ex-gf or the bloke ain't your mate then no problemo.

[Daddys Girl]

Originally posted by May Kasahara
How strange. I've always found other substances soak up the ill-effects of lakes of booze with no problem.

I've yet to experience what other substances + booze can do to me, but I have discovered that I can't even handle mixing drinks that well... I was staying in Sheffield for a few weeks with my best mate - which was an excuse to drink too much... I love wine & I love gin, but I didn't feel lovely at all the following day... urgh! :)

[Orang Utan]

Originally posted by JonnySpeed


Think its more that when I really like a girl I am pretty honest, open and committed. There's nearly 10m people in London, if you need to shag your mates ex-girlfriends then I find it a bit rude and an invasion of a very personal side of my life.

As for if a girl is sulled or soiled by one of my mates shagging them = no definately not. I just don't feel the need to 'get in there' and invade their relationships over something as trivial as a shag.

As I said, if you love the ex-gf or the bloke ain't your mate then no problemo.
10m people in London, but not many of them potential girlfriends, unless you're not fussy. It's difficult to meet suitable people, esp when you're into the kind of music us lot are into, which is why it's often the case that a large group of friends do tend to 'share' girlfriends/boyfriends - it's rarely been a problem in my experience, and Dask's, so I'm inclined to suspect that you are a jealous type, or you have outdated notions of chauvinistic valour.

[Yer_Maw]

bollocks, its about where you stand personally on fucking up someone you know and like for your own personal gain. obviously nothings black or white, and if people have moved on then fine, but still.

[Orang Utan]

But in my experience, 'fucking someone up' just isn't the case. No-one thinks their friend has deliberately gone out to hurt them and are happy to move on, apart from in a handful of cases where a lot of damage has been done.

[JonnySpeed]

To say you can't find a gf that isn't in your immediate group of mates is very bazaar in my eyes, esepcially in London. My friends tend not to sleep with each other because we're 'mates' - we all have other hobbies and interests, and meet partners that way. We just don't sleep with each others ex's or sisters unless it really is ok by them - its more about respect and the fact that we'd rather not annoy or upset our friends.

[Yer_Maw]

and as i said, nothing is black and white. i just wanted to get away from this idea of " chauvinistic valour" - its not that although you might get from some previous posts (pongoid). its not, its about good manners. But as i said nothings black and white

[Hagbard]

Originally posted by Orang Utan

10m people in London, but not many of them potential girlfriends, unless you're not fussy. It's difficult to meet suitable people, esp when you're into the kind of music us lot are into, which is why it's often the case that a large group of friends do tend to 'share' girlfriends/boyfriends - it's rarely been a problem in my experience, and Dask's, so I'm inclined to suspect that you are a jealous type, or you have outdated notions of chauvinistic valour.

I suggest you definitely need to find someone who has never even heard the music you listen to so you can broaden your horizons and break out of the incest gang! ;)

[JonnySpeed]

lol - yer man widen the gene pool.

Be honest how many people are into German electro and wonked up beaky techno, in London? few thousand. That's quite alot really for me. What music you into that most women hate?

I tend to find people split into two groups - those who like great music and those who like mainstream pop, soul'n'house.I just talk about music to people, you'd be amazed what you learn from other people if you listen to them and play them good tunes.

But maybe I just know alot of girls that love dancing to the bassy electro and noodling wonk I like.

ive resigned my life to being on my own. Im impossible to go out with.

[Yer_Maw]

Originally posted by Davros
ive resigned my life to being on my own. Im impossible to go out with.

aww davros, dont be so down! something will come up - when you least expect it!

cheers, yer im just feeling sorry for myself. I need to learn to compromise, i find thatf hard to do you know.

[Yer_Maw]

hey just remember: Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. youll pull through!

[JonnySpeed]

a very wise man once said to me... work out what the top 3 things that are important to them - get those right, the rest can easily be negotiated.

[JonnySpeed]

<- just spotted my top 3.

ooops.

[Yer_Maw]

oh and @ kaOs, genuinely. sorry to hear that man, hope everythings ok.

[May Kasahara]

Originally posted by Daddys Girl I was staying in Sheffield for a few weeks with my best mate - which was an excuse to drink too much... I love wine & I love gin, but I didn't feel lovely at all the following day... urgh! :)

Urrrgggghhhh. I feel your pain. Well, not right now as I'm rather drunk on a mixture of ale and wine...but tomorrow I will for sure.

I am so lame when it comes to alcohol, a night on the town that doesn't culminate in an all-day self-loathing marathon the following morning is a personal triumph - hence the feeling of real gratitude when you wake up after a proper all-kinds bender and feel okay...

[pongoid]

Originally posted by Yer_Maw
and as i said, nothing is black and white. i just wanted to get away from this idea of " chauvinistic valour" - its not that although you might get from some previous posts (pongoid). its not, its about good manners. But as i said nothings black and white

Chauvanistic valor my fuckin ball bag across your nose, mate. It's about not letting your romantic relationships mess up your non-romantic ones with people you are supposed to know and trust to be mindful of each others emotions as well as well-being.

And as for stepping up to somebody who's trying to put the unwanted moves on your friend's girl when he's not around, it's just lookin out for your own, like family, and ladies do it too, so don't try to be the cunt and paint me out as some kind of sexist pig.

Fuck's sake, you must not have many friends, and the ones that you do, you obviously have some trust issues with. Sort it out, man.

Fuckin hell. Yeah, five pages in "Oh... Kaoz, sorry I'm such a fuckin selfish prick, and I guess I should mention something consoling so I don't look like so much of an arsehole, eh?" Nice one. Very nice.

[tania]

so kaoz, did u get lucky yet?

[Yer_Maw]

Originally posted by pongoid


Chauvanistic valor my fuckin ball bag across your nose, mate. It's about not letting your romantic relationships mess up your non-romantic ones with people you are supposed to know and trust to be mindful of each others emotions as well as well-being.

And as for stepping up to somebody who's trying to put the unwanted moves on your friend's girl when he's not around, it's just lookin out for your own, like family, and ladies do it too, so don't try to be the cunt and paint me out as some kind of sexist pig.

Fuck's sake, you must not have many friends, and the ones that you do, you obviously have some trust issues with. Sort it out, man.

Fuckin hell. Yeah, five pages in "Oh... Kaoz, sorry I'm such a fuckin selfish prick, and I guess I should mention something consoling so I don't look like so much of an arsehole, eh?" Nice one. Very nice.

maybe if you go back and actually read what i wrote, youll realise i was agreeing with you, just not the way you expressed it in that high 5 american macho language you arsehole. Also again, if you actually READ the thread, i didnt want Kaos to think the bullshit i directed at Davros was somehow there to console him too. You really are a twat, think before you write mate, that way you might not argue with people that are agreeing with you. To be honest i wonder how you can have any mate, seeing as you find it hard enough to agree to agree, nevermind agree to disagree.

[KaOz]

Originally posted by tania
so kaoz, did u get lucky yet?

nope... and ui think i dont want to anymore,. she talked/did lots of shit in the last 7 days

[pongoid]

Kaoz,
Don't lose faith in the entirety of the species, man. Just take your time, and do your own thing. When you're ready to be with somebody else, she'll come along. It's always when you're not really looking.


Ape

[Orang Utan]

Originally posted by JonnySpeed
To say you can't find a gf that isn't in your immediate group of mates is very bazaar in my eyes, esepcially in London.

I did not say that.

[KaOz]

man u guys cant beleive whats going on here these days...

i was right with the othe rone.. finally.

but she never told me about him, or said that shes with him now.
tonight i was at the loftclub
had some beers. was quite happy coz i was with one of my best mates.
then i sent an sms to jenny and said that i miss her... nothing spectacular really....
then this guy called me from jennys phone and said "do u have a problem" etc.... and he talked so much shit.. still cant believe it... jenny talks only crap @ other instances...
i see that now....

maybe im to emotional right now... but what she does is the fuckin horror....

good that i know that she has another one now... maybe i can quit that thing now ( headwise )

but w t f

[thembuzz]

that's rough

[Sheridan]

kaoz, it's always rough. especially since there is another guy invovled.
keep your spirits my man. another love is just around the corner!!

[JonnySpeed]

might be better not speak to or see her again.

[JE:5]

They'll both get their karma.

[tania]

yep!
dont worry kaoz man. she's obviously not good enough for u!

[KaOz]

nice to hear that from such a beautiful girl :*

[karitek]

im really sorry kaoz. that sounds messy. i hope you feel better about everything soon.

[Jeniffer Mills]

Originally posted by KaOz
man u guys cant beleive whats going on here these days...

i was right with the othe rone.. finally.

but she never told me about him, or said that shes with him now.
tonight i was at the loftclub
had some beers. was quite happy coz i was with one of my best mates.
then i sent an sms to jenny and said that i miss her... nothing spectacular really....
then this guy called me from jennys phone and said "do u have a problem" etc.... and he talked so much shit.. still cant believe it... jenny talks only crap @ other instances...
i see that now....

maybe im to emotional right now... but what she does is the fuckin horror....



good that i know that she has another one now... maybe i can quit that thing now ( headwise )

but w t f

...Kaoz..You MUST break up the contact to her completly..This "we-can-stay-good-friends" thing is an illusion concerned to your situation(i know easy to say) But otherwise it is self torture...
C`mon man! You deserve someone better!

[pongoid]

Yeah, man. You've got to let her no. No messages, no emails, no nothing. She's gone and with somebody else, and no matter how much you miss her you can't get her back, and if you do, you don't really have her back because she'll just do the same shit again. I know it hurts to hear, but it's really over and you have to let it be over.

Be hurt and let the hurt out, but don't do it by trying to get her back because it will only hurt you more. I'm not gonna say "Be man, keep a stiff upper lip" bullshit. Go cry your fuckin eyes out, and get it out of your system, then just get on with being you. Good luck, man.

[dSort]

exactly...break the contact,it will only hurt.I`ve broken with my ex in september,after year and a half,and since then have seen her only twice(one time to give back her books and another-accidentaly,at the uni).
It probably hurts as hell,but time will help.

[gypsy_cream]

damn kaoz.....better off without her...you'll defo find someone that deserves you :)