whats your mum up too?

wheres your mum? listen, u cant forget about your old dear now can you? no. They brought your into this world in their tummy, in my case i came out sideways, my mother, bless her had her vag cut open to get this lanky streak off piss out. now im fucking out im thinking baout m y mum. shes at home, cooking dinner for herself, cause dads left her. wehats your mum doing?

[Sheridan]

she's probably at work.

you felt the need to post one fucking line? i told u my family have split up, spilluihng my fucking heart out and u tell me shes at work? u got no fucking shame? where does she work, dont fucking drop turds like that in my thread Sherdan, look im not having a go, but, please try and contribute a bit more than that mate. Cheers.

[tania]

are ur parents really splitting up phil? or are u talking bullshit again?

[Sheridan]

she works at a library. she is the head of health information at the city library in wilmington, north carolina. so when people get sick or need to find out information regarding health, she helps them find what they are looking for.

well since you 'spilled' your heart out, my dad was really sick a little while ago. it did not look good, if you know what I mean. but he's on the mend now.

[Loz]

mine is currently watching my Fight Club DVD. She wanted to watch it a second time, so I loaned it to her.

no im not talking shit tania my dad has moved away to another house. its very fucking sad, especially for my bro whos livin there stilll, what can you do? just got to be about for my old dear.

[Tec]

mines in prison for fraud.

zserious? what for? VAT shit?

[Jeniffer Mills]

Your coming up at the right time with this thread Phil: My mum just called to tell me she`s marrying for the second time...I`m still speachless....

[drop]

shes probably reading her bible

[JonnySpeed]

yo mamma was round my place last night

[scott confusion]

ohh its mothers day soon..
my ma works 2 jobs one in a cafe another as a cleaner for a few rich familys and looks after my 3 brothers. in between that she also looks after my gran who has been really sick for a few months..
need to visit her more but she lives the other side of the city and i cannie be arsed half the time.

[Ladytron]

taking care of me

[Jeniffer Mills]

Mums rock!

[mandal]

trŸmmerfrau

[Jeniffer Mills]

http://www.dasan.de/j/medien/bilder/ereignisse/weltkrieg/truemmerfrauen0802.jpg;)

[content]

my mom just graduated from massage therapy school. after yrs of having a deflated sense of self worth do to abuse as a child she finally realized she could do something worthwhile and i am very proud of her

bless

[thembuzz]

i love my mum

[TheWasp]

I love your mum

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by Monoxian
I love your mum

i love your bum

[pongoid]

Your mum loves me.

[TheWasp]

Originally posted by thembuzz


i love your bum

thats a bit forward

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by pongoid
Your mum loves me.

your bum loves me

[thembuzz]

Originally posted by Monoxian


thats a bit forward

what can i say? i'm a no-nonsense man. i know what i want and i go after it. and i always get what i want

[TheWasp]

the patter is actually getting better in here now ...........

but still , stay away from my bum ...

did i mention that TOBIAS SCHMITT and CYNTHIA STERN fucking rock ......

[pongoid]

My bum does not love you unless you are a small ice cube, as I've been eating very spicy foods. In fact my bum does not even like me at this point, and with the things it's been saying nobody likes my bum much either, except your mum.

[content]

i think this thread wins the award for going wholesome to bad very quickly

Your mums like a shotgun, 4 cocks and shes loaded.

[gunjack]

your mum is like a race car, she burns through four rubbers a day.

[Tec]

Originally posted by Davros
zserious? what for? VAT shit?

She got caught in a Tesco Club Card swindle, she got greedy with the points.

Silly moo.

[...valta...]

it's so... so... so strange how u guys a talking such a shit bout yer mothers... really strange.

i know in UK jokes of such a kind are considered "normal"... but... :(

in my country it's considered totally WRONG! U may NOT make laugh bout mums...

if U'd say something of that kind bout my mum while standing close to me - I assure you that U'd fall down with yer neck broken at the same moment.

[roberta_hood]

i love my mum!
nothing give me a reason to make (bad) jokes about her

[gunjack]

why? because your mom is so ugly, when she cries, the tears run down the back of her head! :!

oi valta, your mums so stupid she studied for a blood test

[Ladytron]

gunjack and Davros you now only wish that you'll never meet Valta in real

[...valta...]

Phil... that... was... mistake... i know how U look like, i know where U live. i won't do anything to find U, but...

once I meet U... - U won't be that glad bout it ;)

[gunjack]

davros, your mom is so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the sofa.

[Tec]

Gunjack, you're mum makes loopy techno.

;) lol

your mums like a light switch, even a two year old can turn her on

[Lady E]

these mother jokes are tedious and offensive

shut up all of you making them or i will close the thread.

[gunjack]

man i was gonna do the sheep one, baaaaaah, but you cut me off! c´mon momma jokes are only offensive to anyone who is over sensitive. obviously we dont know any of the boards mothers personally! (except for davros mom who we all know intimately)

[Lady E]

it's just boring crap gunjack. total playground rubbish.

?

http://camacho.tv/images/uploads/gallery/Cat-Dog.jpg

[gunjack]

please how can you belittle something with such a huge cultural significance emma?

THE DOZENS - ".a game of verbal jousting constructed on insults directed in large part toward the mother of one's opponent, was widespread in black culture by the early 20th century. Langston Hughes lyrically glorified the Dozens in the poem 'Ask Your Mama'." This reference lists six possible theories for the origin of "the Dozens" starting with: "Insulting rhymes that progressed from 1 to 12, describing the lewd acts that the opponent's mother enjoyed." Variations to "the Dozens" are "playing the Dozens," "putting someone in the Dozens" and "shooting the Dozens." From "Speaking Freely: A Guided Tour of American English from Plymouth Rock to Silicon Valley" by Stuart Berg Flexner and Anne H. Soukhanov (Oxford University Press, New York, 1997).

Another reference calls it: "A verbal ritual of talking negatively about someone's mother (or occasionally grandmothers and other female relatives) by coming up with outlandish, highly exaggerated, often sexual loaded, humorous 'insults'; played among friends, associates, and those 'hip' to the game. The objective is to outtalk one's competitor, get the most laughs from the group and not lose emotional control. A fundamental rule is that the 'slander' must not literally be true." Most players are male. This source says the Dozens comes from a slave era custom of selling sick or old slaves in lots of 12. "Black Talk: Words and Phrases from the Hood to the Amen Corner" by Geneva Smitherman (Houghton Mifflin Co., New York, N.Y., 1994)

sort it out mate, dont bring us down to your level. Try thinking in life instead of opening trap without engaging brain.

[gunjack]

this is your thread there buddy, i just made it intersesting. now back to your mom.....

you just made it cheese

[gunjack]

cheese from crap, alert the church!

just like that shit u pass off as music

[gunjack]

move some units then open your yap.

the only thing that proves is their are a lot of cunts out there.

[Tec]

Davros is a self-facilitating media node though man, many many strings to his bow..;)

[gunjack]

dude, go stimulate yourself.

your mums should be shot in the face.

[Lady E]

right thats enough.