the national lottery

[Paddy]

i'm gonna win tonight. booyah.

[Orang Utan]

I played it the first week but didn't win, so I haven't played it since.
Waste of money - you'll never win - it's a bloody lottery.

[Paddy]

i dont play very often.

[robin]

i really like michael carol
do you remember him?

he was the bloke who was a bit of rude boy, into his racing, his elizabeth duke etc, had done a couple of things
everyone got upset that a petty criminal had won money and said it shouldn't be allowed

but that's the POINT. its a lottery, you dont win because you deserve it, or lose because you don't deserve to, you win on the basis of randomness. so i reckon hes my favourite lottery winner ever

[big raff]

was that the wally that had stock cars in his garden?

[V Knid esq]

Stupidity tax.

[Orang Utan]

Originally posted by V Knid esq
Stupidity tax.

But unfortunately that means a poor tax.

[Paddy]

Originally posted by big raff
was that the wally that had stock cars in his garden?

hahaha, he went to jail for dealing or something, and while he was inside his house got robbed by his 'mates'! hahaha!
he's only got about 300 grand left, out of 9.7 million. hahaha!

[V Knid esq]

Hahaha he was so bling

<img src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39910000/jpg/_39910983_michael_carroll203.j pg">

[Paddy]

what a fucking numpty. i bet he bought gold taps too.

[V Knid esq]

There's an awful lot of folks like him in Norfolk. His mother and father were probably rather closely related.

[yenorom]

I saw him getting interviewed. He was asked are you worried about people who pretend to be your mates to get at your cash. He said "no, I'll stab them" !!!!!

[bencodec]

a mate of mine was ust telling me about a program the he saw about the number of lotto winners who end up broke, it was some huge percentage.

[Paddy]

oh well, i didnt win.

[thembuzz]

you should win if you don't play very often. that's what's supposed to happen. you need to play, like, once a year and not care whether or not you win. guaranteed, that. absolutely 100% failsafe. hasn't worked for me yet

[thembuzz]

jesus fuck! has anyone seen that new scratch cards advert?

"weekly shopping? wouldn't it be better if, instead of taking home pots of yoghurt, you were taking home... pots of money!"

does anyone need me to spell out the subtext? how fucking bare-faced, callous and downright frigging amoral can you get! what next? lady luck harangues a single mother-of-two at the jobcentre?

[Hagbard]

Originally posted by Orang Utan
I played it the first week but didn't win, so I haven't played it since.

I played the very first week and won £10, so I haven't played it since.

They should be made to read out the statistics of winning on every advert and programme.. .and then list all the things more likely to happen to you, maimed by bus, die falling out of bed etc.

[Lady E]

i didnt play the first week, but quite early on in its career. i won £80. i got 4 numbers and had to spend an agonising saturday night not knowing how much i had won.

i am now in a syndicate with my family. with our winnings, which is average £200 a year, we either have a big meal together or last year we started buying premium bonds.

i feel like we could win something, or else i wouldnt do it, but one of the main reasons we keep going is it is a great thing for my auntie with learning disabilities to do twice a week, check the numbers and notify the family if anyone has won anything.

i think they should make prizes smaller and therefore more widespread, and increase the chances of winning. people cant handle the huge sums they win anyway. a lottery in and of itself is not a bad thing at all.

[Hagbard]

more lottery foolery:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4256595.stm

[grobelaar]

Originally posted by Steev
more lottery foolery:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4256595.stm

That's crazy... can you imagine if they did take no. 53 out...

Can't quite work out the system from the bbc text - I'm assuming that if it's 5 numbers in 10 locations...

that they draw 10 lots of 5 numbers out of 90 possible choices - which doesn't make it that much of an abberation... OK it's still a quirk, but shit happens...

[cut out]

Originally posted by V Knid esq
Stupidity tax.

how very elitest

[cut out]

Originally posted by Orang Utan


But unfortunately that means a poor tax.

how very bigoted

[the captain]

fraid I have to take issue with the last 2 posts mate ... take the 99 most deprived boroughs in the UK and map lottery ticket sales on to them and you'll find a direct relationship... tragic really. it was part of my job to calculate and co-ordinate this kind of analysis for parliamentary questions, so yes I know what I'm talking about, unfortunately.

as for stupid tax... well if anyone offered me a bet at odds of 14 million to 1 but said they'd only pay up a couple of million to my £1 bet I'd tell them to fuck off and so should everyone else or they accept that they're simply taking a round about way of donating to charity (while funding the national lottery gravy train) with a vague chance of getting a return... which is absolutely fine ... but 'stupid' in a gambling sense.

Play the pools.... or my favourite, drop an accumulator on the Christmas No.1 single plus the No.1 soap (viewing figures) great odds, lots of fun and if you win a shitload give half to your favourite charity. Use your imagination, betting shops will let you bet on almost anything and give you decent odds, gambling can be so much more fun than ticking off a feww numbers twice a week.

Just stop and think about it for a moment, the odds are 14,000,000 : 1 and you only have to promise a fraction of your take as pay out... it's a scam... it's the mother of all scams... even the most crooked turf accountants have to abide by rules that would prevent that kind of profit margin.

If you must play the lottery then never buy your lottery ticket more than 2 days before the draw because statistically you've got more chance of dying before the draw is made than winning the fucking thing (possibly an urban myth).

anyway Evil Dead II on the telly... best acid movie ever made... pretty, scary, colours and wonderfully crap jokes... farewell to arms :)

cheers
neil.

apologies for the drunken rant... I played three times and won a total of £156 what the fuck do I care.

[V Knid esq]

Evil Dead II on acid, that takes me back. There is actually one better film for tripping and that's Nightmare On Elm St 6... the one with the 3-d section near the end... it's fucking hilarious. Wes Craven clearly knew he was taking the piss totally by this point and does so with total gusto... fucking amazing FX too, especially the 'evil hearing aid'.

[the captain]

Ahhh ... yes... or friday the 13th part whatever 3d with the washing line pole at the beginning waving in your face and then the crossbow bolt and the eyeballs popping out...

We always seemed to end up watching Evil Dead II as a double bill with those 'faces of death' videos for some reason.. foolish youth as we were.

chainsaw roars , shotgun sawn off.....GROOVY :)

cheese
neil.

It was about this time I gave up acid for a few years having been so scared by the square headed people on the 'money for nothing' video that I had to sit in a toilet sniffiffing air freshner for an hour...

Yep I'm that old.